10 Random Things You Probably Didn’t Know About Me

1. I don't own a smart phone, PVR or flat screen TV.

Our TV is probably 12 years old and HUGE ( as in 3 ft DEEP and weighs about 250 lbs!) and my cell phone (which I keep in the car glove box) is also about 10 years old and rather large and clunky. No it's not as big as the one Gordon Gekko had in Wall Street 2 when he leaves prison, but it's close. It's my husband's old phone and honestly I still really don't know how to use it. I can't check texts on it and seem to have forgotten my password to check messages. Needless to say, I'm not using it like I should. My excuse is that I work from mostly from home so I can use my home phone. The cell phone is in the car in case of emergencies. Ridiculous I know. Almost every day when I'm out and about I think to myself, heck I could be taking a photo of this annoying traffic or tweeting how I love the salad I'm eating today for  lunch. (Crap…who really wants to know or hear about that?) This year though I am seriously thinking about getting a proper phone and learning how to use it. I know, I know, welcome to the 21st century Suzanne. With regards to the PVR and TV, this year I'm hoping we are able to upgrade. Obviously though, it's not a priority for us or we would have done it already. Seems that I can always think of a trip I'd like to take or find a pair of shoes or a cute dress that trumps the new TV every time.

2. I'm a germaphobe.

I think it may have been the whole SARS thing here in Toronto or maybe the swine flu or just the fact that often my hubby gets sick when on the train or plane but I kind of shrink down in my seat or hold my breath for a bit if someone sneezes or coughs by me and I  sort of feel like I want to go home and take a shower. I wash my hands each time I come back in the house. I haven't started wearing a face mask when I'm on the train or bus but there have been a few times on the plane that I would have loved to have had one to use. (Sometimes I'd like to have one just so that the person beside me doesn't try to start up a conversation about their entire life for the whole 7 hours I'm on the plane.) Paranoid or preventative? I'll let you decide.

3. I'm child-free by choice. 

I adore my nieces and nephews but I can't stand it when I'm asked if I have any children and upon responding "no"  I'm regarded with such overwhelming pity and disappointment. I've  now learned to say "I'm child free". At least it's understood that it is my choice. I can have them, it's just that I don't want to. Raising children is not for everyone. I respect other people's choices and feel that they should do the same.

4. I cry when watching TV commercials. 

This is embarrassing to say, but I can't watch any commercial about any sad animals. They must be happy animals. In fact I can't read, or listen to any kind of story about animal abuse or neglect otherwise I become emotional and it can leave me feeling disturbed for days on end. Needless to say I've never watched Marley & Me. I start to cry just thinking about the story. 

5. I don't eat red meat.

Well, occasionally I will eat bacon that is literally burned black, maybe every 3-4 months. I don't eat red meat because I don't like the taste or texture. I stopped when I was around 12 when I finally told my Mom that I didn't like meat and felt I was old enough to decide that I  longer wanted to eat it. I eat chicken every 4 months or so if I cook it myself and it's free range organic. Otherwise it's just sustainable fish and veggies for me. Oh, and bread and cheese. The world would be a whole lot less enjoyable without bread and cheese. 

6. I speak French every other day at home.

When I met and married my Frenchman I thought I would be speaking French every day, but as I quickly learned marriage is all about compromise therefore we only speak French every other day. I feel daily though that I am losing the French I have since both my husband and I have become complacent and often speak Franglish, adding in English words in a French sentence. It sounds ridiculous. It's a bad habit we formed when we lived in Quebec that has only gotten worse with time. I'd like to blame my professor, but that wouldn't be very marriage-like of me.

7. I don't do gyms. 

I've always been the type of person to self motivate and push myself harder. I've never understood people that need someone to kick their butt so that they workout more. Also I do not need a bunch of other people looking at me grunt, sweat and turn purple when I workout. Yes purple. My face turns so red that it literally looks purple when I do lots of cardio. People are often concerned and frightened upon seeing me like this and will either offer help as in, "Are you okay, do you need to sit down?" or they will look at me and then quickly look away like I'm a hideous freak and my head is about to explode.

Also, please see # 2 regarding germophobia. I can't stand the thought of being in a room or pool or whatever with a bunch of other people sweating and smelling (see #10). I won't even get into the whole shared "change room and shower" situation.  That makes me feel a bit ill just thinking about it.

8. My favourite shows are:

 Breaking Bad, Mad Men, Boardwalk Empire, Nurse Jackie, Girls & Enlightened. Sadly I have to say I still watch The Bachelor, Bachelorette and Bachelor Pad. I know it's tacky and fake, but it still fulfills some weirdly totally unrealistic romantic fantasy about love that I have. Clearly my love fantasy is that true love is discovered while competing in ridiculous games on  TV while vying for attention and adoration from a person who is dating 20 other people at the same time,  just like Cinderella.

9. I don't drink beer, coffee, tea, pop, milk or other sweetened beverages.

I drink water and it's perfectly fine with me. Sometimes when I want to "spice things up" and get really crazy I will drink hot water. Before you ask, no I'm not 90 years old and I still have my own teeth.  I do drink some homemade drinks and I happily partake in some spirits. My favourite beverage to consume other than water is champagne. Moet de Chandon to be exact. Does that make me a beverage snob? I figure if I'm going to drink some calories I might as well really make them count and the Moet never lets me down. I won't turn away a good martini or a nice red wine either, remember my husband is French, it would be sacrilege to turn away a good wine.

10. I'm odour sensitive.

I have fibromyalgia and one of the symptoms is being overly sensitive to smells. My husband would say I'm like an excellent hunting dog because I can smell anything and everything from very far away. I don't know if this a compliment or not.

My keen sense of smell proved useful when our basement freezer stopped working when we were away on holiday & we came back 2 weeks later and I literally smelled it when we opened the front door.  No joke, I stood in the front doorway just hovering there and ominously told Robert, "There is something wrong. Something stinks here." He just rolled his eyes and said I was over-reacting and paranoid. I'm sure he also thought inwardly, "why did I marry this crazy smell sensitive superhero freak?" Okay maybe he didn't think the superhero part but at least I knew something was fishy. Ha ha. Did you get that? Fishy? That's kind of superhero-like right? ( Imagine bags of bloated decayed shrimp and fish floating in a pool of rancid water, I totally gagged and almost hurled when I opened up that freezer door. Even now thinking about it my stomach churns a bit.) That freezer went straight out to the curb for the garbage men. Imagine our shock later that evening when someone came and actually took it away and it wasn't the garbage men either because they weren't due for 2 more days. I'm sure that whomever it was got quite the surprise when they opened it up and the violent putrid stench punched them in the face. Okay, you can see this traumatized me a bit, I'm trying to let go of the haunting "odour stamp" in my mind. 

Unfortunately being odour sensitive means I can no longer wear any of my lovely collection of fragrances that I've collected throughout the years. I lament this often since each perfume was worn during a certain period of my life and brings back so many memories. Now though, if I'm caught in the fragrance dept at a large store I will literally hold my breath and rush through, otherwise I can end up feeling queasy, dizzy and sick. If my husband puts on aftershave and we get in the car together I have to have the windows down or I get sick. That can get cold when it is -10 C outside. 

There you have it, 10 random silly things about me. Now I feel naked.