On Tuesday I will have been married for 24 years. As you can see…I started celebrating early.
When I got married we didn’t have cell phones (only wealthy people owned mobiles and they carried them around in a small suitcase they were so large!) , no home computer (you could use computers at university or the library), there was no social media (you had to gossip in person!), fold out paper maps were used for navigation and if you wanted to chat with someone you either had to pick up the phone or go and visit them.
It was scary fabulous!
24 years of marriage means I have spent more years of my life with my spouse than without.
I didn’t actually get married in this dress. We eloped. I bought this dress ten years after we were married to wear at a trade show for my business when I introduced a line of wedding scrapbooking papers and embellishments. I did the photo shoot for a fun link up party with Catherine. I wish I could have found some photos of us dressed up for the trade show, but no luck.
I had to squeeze my fat feet into these tiny fabulous vintage boots that I bought at an estate sale. I thought they were so amazing with the dress.
What happens when you share you life with someone for so long?
You learn a few things.
I’m going to share 10 things I’ve learned in 24 years of marriage, just so you know, it’s not all romantic sunsets, scattered rose petals and great sex. Surprise!
- Some days your best friend will be a family sized chocolate bar, bag of chips and whatever alcohol you have in the house. Just don’t hang out with them for too long.
- If you can’t laugh you’re in big trouble.
- Just because your husband is nodding his head doesn’t mean he has actually heard a word you’ve said.
- Boredom and laziness go hand in hand. If someone told you that marriage is easy, they lied. Like everything in life worth having it takes work.
- You can choose to be right or you can choose to be happy. Some days you will make the wrong choice.
- Never assume you know everything about your partner, no matter how long you’ve been married.
- We chose our spouses, not their families.
- Sex is not overrated in marriage.
- Separate bathrooms and a GPS are luxuries well worth every penny to avoid conflict.
- Time apart may make the heart grow fonder but too much time apart and you can grow apart.
This is us on our wedding day getting married by a justice of the peace in a hotel room. Fancy!
I was wearing my sister’s graduation dress that I borrowed and Robert was wearing the only suit jacket he owned. We picked up the flowers on a whim on the way to the hotel.
This is us at our wedding reception we had about a month later at my parent’s house.
We didn’t have wedding bands until about a year later.
Here I am wearing the same dress and scarf today.
I tried to do my hair a bit like in the photo but at that time I had a spiral perm and it was much easier for my hair to keep the curl.
It’s scary and a bit depressing seeing two photos that are 24 years apart like that. As Melanie wrote to me, “It’s hard to believe we were ever that young.”
How about you? Care to share any words of wisdom you’ve learned about marriage?
If you want to see us dressed up vintage style for a dance party in a heritage airplane museum that’s what we did last year for our anniversary. Or you might enjoy reading about the best date I’ve ever been on in my life. I sure did!
Linking up with Visible Monday (cause you don’t get more visible than a wedding dress!) I Will Wear What I Like
Ha! I was so curious about the wedding dress when the photo came up on IG (or FB).
Congratulations on 24!
I’ve now been “living in sin” with Severo longer than I was married to the wasband.
You have sage advice for the youngsters — will they listen? Some of my mistakes were, I mean advice is: Don’t get married to make your parents happy; Don’t make promises you don’t intend to keep.
That promise thing is a big one.
Best. Post. Evar.
: P
Happy Anniversary! It’s amazing how different life was 24 years ago… And how young we once were.
I like your list of what you’ve learned!
I love the stories behind your dresses! I like your reception dress; I had a very similar dress in the 90s, not in white though.
That sheath is a very classic style and why I chose it. I figured I’d wear it again. Funny thing is although I’ve kept it, I’ve never worn it again.
Happy Anniversary! Thank you for sharing your personal life with us. It’s fascinating and your presentation is as amusing as ever. The one thing I’ve learned in marriage, which you mention, is the ability to defuse conflict. Even when you’re right, it is important to be kind.
Defusing conflict is HUGE and one of the hardest to learn.
You really do look great in both wedding dresses- and so true on all 10 items.
Also- happy anniversary!
Thanks : )
Well, since I’ve only been married for four weeks, I don’t think I can give advice or life lessons yet!
http://www.sublimemercies.com/
Ha ha! Nope. Contact me again in 23 years and let me know how it’s going : )
Just gorgeous! All of it!
The little kids in the hotel room…eloping!
The mature woman who can still fit her dress!
And the full on meringue confection! Those bad boots…oh how I wish I’d done that…and those bad joggers!!
And of course the chocolate 😀 😀
The advice is spot on. As Ally says, be kind. But sometimes you need to put your point of view even if you have to deal with a little flak while they absorb it. We part ways during that bit and then come back to discuss.
Happy Anniversary! xo Jazzy Jack
Just gorgeous! All of it!
The little kids in the hotel room…eloping!
The mature woman who can still fit her dress!
And the full on meringue confection! Those bad boots…oh how I wish I’d done that…and those bad joggers!!
And of course the chocolate 😀 😀
The advice is spot on. As Ally says, be kind. But sometimes you need to put your point of view even if you have to deal with a little flak while they absorb it. We part ways during that bit and then come back to discuss.
Happy Anniversary! xo Jazzy Jack
Wise words and beautiful pictures. You look fabulous in all your wedding dresses! When I put mine on last year, it was a little tight. Oh, well, I won’t be wearing it again anyway.
I especially like No. 2 – you have to be able to laugh together, and especially laugh about your fights. As for the husband not listening, mine doesn’t even bother nodding.
Happy Anniversary!
This sheath dress was a tad tight around my hips, but I kind of remember it being like that 24 years ago. (Or am I trying to convince myself?)
Although I saved the dress thinking I’d wear it again because it is such a classic style I never did.
Happy Anniversary!! I am so envious that you still fit a dress from 24 years ago and that it’s kept the white color. My husband and I met in 1999 and married since 2006. It has not been easy but so worth it.
Alice
http://www.happinessatmidlife.com
This dress kept the white pretty well, only around the arm holes did it fade a bit.
I couldn’t always fit into the dress. If you’d asked me 15 years ago I wouldn’t have fit into it and I almost got rid of it. I’ve found whenever you’re one weight you think you’re going to be that the rest of your life. It’s ridiculous of course.
Happy anniversary to you both! I love these photos, the old and new. And as someone only married for two months I’ve made a note of your tips! Xx
Ha! : ) You’re such a newbie ; )
Happy anniversary! Love seeing your pictures from 24 years ago and it’s so cool that you still have your original reception dress! My parents eloped too, and have 3 or 4 pictures from the ceremony, but I never saw the actual blue dress my Mom got married in, I guess she didn’t keep it around all that long. And the red boots with the other wedding dress are awesome! I wish I would have worn cool shoes for my wedding but my grandma was already traumatized because I was wearing a denim jacket so I toned things down as much as possible…
I remember seeing that denim jacket! It was perfect for you!
I am Ron’s third wife. He had a daughter with his second wife and he did not dare tell his ex we were to be married. Afraid she would upset our wedding. So… as we could not say anything in advance, his daughter would not be present at our wedding. And I said: one day she will hold that against us. So in defense, we decided “if she could not attend, then nobody could as she was the most important person”. So we were in and out of the townhall in 20 minutes. Even for me that is too little time (and no audience) to justify buying an expensive wedding dress. But I still long for one.
Years later, when Nicky (stepdaughter) was 16, the matter came up… and sure enough, being a rebellious teenager, she came down hard on Ron and condemned the decision to keep her away from the wedding. I pulled my card and silenced her completely. It was worth it.
And Ron was right, his ex went crazy when she heard we got married. Seven years after her divorce.
you’re both so stunning, then and now. We have been together 23 years and I find your list of lessons to be spot-on. Numbers 3 and 9 really speak to my heart. And don’t take away my chocolate or wine, it gets scary. You are such a beauty! xox
-Patti
http://notdeadyetstyle.com
Congratulations. You have made it so far and you are still in love … and in such good shape!!! Again congratulations. Love the photos. Even though I have never had a wedding dress (sore point). Care to elaborate on the eloping bit? (You know I am curious as hxll.)
Very funny post… the binging on chocolate haha.
Greetje
Why didn’t you have a wedding dress?
The eloping part was mostly because Robert’s family was all in France and he didn’t feel it would be fair to them. Also we had no money and couldn’t afford a wedding. Something I’ve never regretted to be honest. I’d much rather spend the money on a nice holiday.
Congratulations! I only made it to 15 years married so I’m very impressed with 24!
I want to steal those red boots. Is that wrong?
I’d happily give them to you if you have a size 5.5 – 6 foot. Right now I can only put them on for fun. I’m a size 7 and they KILL me after about 10 minutes.
Happy anniversary, dear Suzanne! I loved your post and your dress at the time you got married, even borrowed and then the reception later and now the dress you bought – with the red boots, narrow or not, very beautiful and perfect with the dress! I loved what you said, the 10 tips – actually, I use numbers 5 and 6 in any relationship, family and friends, because I don’t want to be right, I want to be happy 🙂 I really loved your hair before and now as well – you didn’t change, apart from the hair, and still can wear the reception’s dress, wow! I hope you had a happy anniversary! Bisous!
DenisesPlanet.com
Thanks Denise : ) Glad to see you are feeling better.
BWAHAHAHA!!! Love those snackies and the Coffee Crisp!, and of course the booze, all essentials for surviving the knot. I hope the chocolate stains came out of your dress.
This is the best marriage/wedding post I have ever seen. You forgot to mention that the next sentence I wrote was: “You haven’t changed a bit!” Your photo of the actual day – you both look incredibly happy – and your take on marriage now are so real. You still look happy – and if you can manage to do that after this many years, no matter what kind of sweetener it takes, it’s not a bad thing.
Congratulations on your anniversary tomorrow and many thanks for this big laugh and great message on the start of my day. Mwah!!
I think every married woman should have a life time supply of dark chocolate. Why didn’t Justin offer that as part of his platform?
I laughed out loud on this post. LOVE your last wedding dress photo with the running shoes – great look that! But, seriously, I agree with your list of 10 things learned (a few of which I often have to remind myself of). You two look so precious in your wedding photos. Happy Anniversary to you both!!! 24 years in today’s society merits a celebration indeed, enjoy yours!
Thanks Shani : )
Love the photos! Great advice too. Next year will be our 40th. Still fun!
You guys are a real inspiration!
That salty sweet combination is sooooo good. With alcohol. Perfect. What a great metaphor for a marriage. My hoosband and and I also eloped. Forgot flowers. Didn’t have rings. Had to enlist a stranger as a witness from the waiting room at the Justice of the Peace. We’ve been together 26 years. I can so relate. How nice that you have a photo of yourself on a wedding dress cuz you look absolutely beautiful and pure as the driven snow, turn-of-the-century prostitute shoes not withstanding. Happy Anniversary.
Ha ha! I always look forward to your comments and humour Connie.
Happy Anniversary and congratulations! To be happily married for 24 years is a great accomplishment. Your pictures are gorgeous, as are you – then and now. Your advice is spot on. A good marriage takes hard work, kindness – and you need to keep having sex :)!
Couldn’t agree more.
My Gosh, what a wonderul post, happy anniversary gorgeous lady. You look so beautiful in that dress, Love the photos. I’ve been married for 23 years and we’ve known each other for 27 years so I too spent more time with my spouse than without. Our ‘secret’ has always been a good talk, talk about your dreams, your fears, just anything and listen. And fight too of necessary, you have to know of something troubles or bothers your partner. We think that at the end of the day if your expectation of life, your goals are somewhat the same, you are pretty safe. Let’s hope so. Lots of love, Kirsten xx
http://www.thelifbissue.com
Thanks for popping by Kirsten. I loved your recent post.
Gorgeous post, beautiful photos and a lot of wisdom! I actually think both you and your husband are now more beautiful than ever!
Awww…thanks Sylvia : )
That’s some great advice there 😉 Congratulations on 24 years of marriage. I’m at about 1/3 of that. And I think you looked great in all those pics. Yes even with the perm. Must be the happy glow 🙂
Have a great week!
congratulation!!!
and yes – best post ever!!!! (short after the yellow skirt one!)
great 10 points you made! i married late in life but i can totally agree 😛
i had to made a skirt out of my (non-white) wedding dress because i could´t fit my shoulders in anymore….. so – envy! 😉
xxxxx
This is a wonderful post, Suzanne! The photos of you in the wedding dress are gorgeous (even when your face is smeared with chocolate!), and it’s so much fun to see the photos of you and your hubby 24 years ago. As Mel said, you really haven’t changed, except for the hair colour (and I think you really suit the red).
I was only married for 4 years, and it was a struggle from day 1, so I have nothing to contribute to what I learned from being married, other than I wasn’t good at it, and it’s a good idea to spend a lot of time getting to know each other BEFORE you take the vows. Your list is a good one, and many of the points you’ve made can be applied to any relationship, not just marriage.
I hope you had fun on your anniversary – 24 years with the same person, and still enjoying each other’s company is definitely worth celebrating.
Marriage isn’t for everyone.
It is funny because when I see the photos of myself I see all of the changes in my face and it is quite disturbing. I didn’t realize it until after I’d put the post up. This year of being 49 is challenging. I’m hoping once I hit 50 things will settle down. I wasn’t like this when I turned 30 or 40.
Happy anniversary! 24 years are really a lot of time!! By the way … I will celebrate 29 before long … ( I wrote 29!! It sounds unbelievable … )
Wow! It is difficult to believe because you look too young to have been married that long! Congrats!
Happy Anniversary! Love the photos, dying over the red boots and you really haven’t changed a bit – apart from the hair, which has only got better.
I’ve been with Jon for 23 years, choosing to “live the life of Satan” as a rapid old lady colleague of mine once spat at me! Obviously I’ve got no advice to offer about being married having never done the deed. I’d just suggest everyone lives with the person who makes them feel good about themselves and chuck them out if they don’t. xxx
Well I consider living with someone the same thing as being married. Also here in Canada, it is legally the same thing even if you don’t have the papers saying so.
What a treat to see your actual wedding photos. What a beautiful and happy bride! Love ( and remember the spiral perm, and all of the other things that date us!)
Your wise tips are funny and on target,
Yes to GPS!
and yes to chips and chocolate, and wine ( in moderation of course)
LOL to that photo of you with the bag of chips.
and those red boots…divine!
I know how you feel, it is as though hubby and I have lived a lifetime together. WE have in a way, our kids are now older than we were when we were first married, Gulp. How did that happen?
Happy week.
xx, Elle
http://www.mydailycostume.com
I always think that when you have kids it must make you feel older because you can see it walking right in front of you.
Did you have a spiral perm? I would love to see photos of that!
All that and I forgot to say:
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY !!!
xx, Elle
http://www.mydailycostume.com
Thanks : )
Only married a short time…but all the above applies for a single mom! With three kids…except…hide the chocolate and the booze!
The dress is gorgeous, but I so knew that you did not wear that when you got married. The one you actually wore is absolutely stunning and so you. I’m right there with ya, at 26 years (counting our “time out”) and I have to say my words of wisdom are, “Forgive. And then forgive again if you have to. Humans make mistakes.”
Debbie
http://www.fashionfairydust.com
Brilliant photos, Suzanne! You make a gorgeous bride whether you’re guzzling chocolate and wearing trainers, or doing it for real in a borrowed dress. Me? Never been married, never felt any need to do it and I’m pretty sure I never will – so I can’t add to your list of tips for wedded bliss, I’m afraid! xxx
Happy anniversary! Thanks for sharing the photos – new and old – and thanks too for keeping it real about marriage. Being in a marriage where both of us always think we’re right, the tip of choosing to be right or choosing to be happy is so important to remember.
<3 Liz
http://www.withwonderandwhimsy.com
Sage advice.
Beautiful photos of a handsome couple and a lovely story behind it all.
Much love and many congratulations to you both and many more glorious years ahead of you.
http://petitesilvervixen.blogspot.co.uk/
Suzanne thank you so much for doing this post and linking up to #iwillwearwhatilike – you sure did rise to the Wearing My Wedding Dress challenge, even if it wasn’t your actual dress from the day itself (though you did wear the second dress)!! The pictures are fabulous, and I especially love the ones of you sitting eating the chocolate…! hehe 😉
My only advice is to not marry the person that you decide to marry after going out with them for only three months. Because you have to be in love with them, not in love with the idea of having a wedding… which is what I did first time round, what a fool!!
Anyway husband no.2 and I have been together for 14 years, and whether it was fate or whatever I don’t know, but had I not married no.1 I wouldn’t have met no.2 (long story, but it’s the old “things happen for a reason” one)!
Catherine x
Aww! That’s radtastic! Happy anniversary! <3 When my partner and I hit the 10 year mark, I made some similar reflections. I can totally relate. Hehe.
– Anna
http://www.melodicthriftychic.com
Totally agree with the chocolate supply! In fact, I rarely leave home without it, which leads to one of the things we’ve learned in our (29 years of marriage) or at least one thing Par has learned. Never let Trina get to the point of over hungry, like NEVER!
Absolutely loved this post, I’ve shared it with so many of my girlfriends around here. The humor you add is actually what makes you, YOU and what makes marriage work. That was the first thing Par mentioned as we drove away from our lunch with the two of you, he said, “now that’s one fun, happy couple”. You compliment one another so well on every level.
I’m so glad you were smart enough to buy that dress for your event, it’s spectacular and these photo’s are seriously magazine worthy, especially the junk food eating, sneaker wearing one! You were one cute blonde (and again I believe we probably had the same spiral permed hair), but I truly think you look more beautiful 24 years later.
I love all the pictures, dresses and looks in this post. And gal, what a lovely, funny pictures you took, with the too small red boots and the sneakers and the comfort food. Made me laugh!
24 Years…wow…impressive!
I’m only in my 10th year with Frits;-).
Are you throwing a big party at 25? Put me on the guest list, okay?;-)
oh yes, I agree with everything, particularly that about separate bathrooms! amen!
I have to say that you look fabulous wearing that white dress and red booties!, such amazing pictures!
And it’s always shocking to watch how somebody looked twenty-something years ago!, I remember those perma hairstyles!. Anyway, you look gorgeous now!
besos