how to wear harem pants Archives

Oh hello you.

Check out my harem pants and their magical pouffy powers.

When I altered these pants the waist went from below-the-belly-slouchy to high enough to produce what looks like thigh high camel toe(s) claws.

Or elephant leg wrinkles.

Take your pick.

Both are sooooo alluring!

If you have a sensitive stomach look away.

Instead look at my cute blinged out bug brooches and necklace.

Is the distraction working?

Soon everyone will want to draw more attention to their well draped extra spacious crotches.

Just like all men that want to draw attention to their bald spots and receding hairlines.

If I move just like this all the time no one will notice the inner thigh camel claws.

Totally doeable.

Don't worry. No one was harmed during this photo shoot.

And by no one

I mean me.

I have been told by Sylvia that it isn't necessary to wear "figure flattering" clothing all the time. Sometimes it is good to just wear clothes that you like regardless of the shape. I must admit I still have a hard time with this.

What is your take on it?

Linking up with : Get Your Pretty On – I Feel Pretty, The Pleated Poppy – What I Wore

PJ pants, pantaloons, baggy bottoms,

MC Hammer pants.

I wrote a whole post on why I should avoid drapey harem pants at all costs, but tried to give them a shot anyhow.

You know how it goes…I'll try anything once.

Fail.

I haven't worn those dancy balloon pants since last year. I couldn't get past the soggy diaper image.

To combat the overly spacious monster-crotch I decided to take in the waist so they fit up higher on my torso.

Not this high LOL, although there was almost enough space.

You might know these pants as AP… (armpit pants). I just hate it when I get deodorant on the waist of my pants!

I'm sure Celine Dion has worn this lovely ensemble. Also known as her, "Big Lady Pants". Or, "My pants will go on…"

I took them in so they fit my "real" waist, right at my belly button.

Kinda like this guy…

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Clint Eastwood is a big fan of high waisted pants.

For whatever reason, the older a man gets, the higher his waistline creeps.

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Check Christopher Walken. He is only a couple of inches away from his nipples.

I may have gotten slightly off track…

Back to my now-altered-high-waisted-harem-pants.

Yes they are still a bit weird and drapey around the crotch, but I think now I could only shoplift a small cornish game hen and some salad fixin's rather than a full turkey dinner for 10 down the front of my pants.

Also they are at my real crotch.

Not my prison pants crotch.

They still add extra weight to my body and shorten my legs,

but darlin'…

they are silk!

and the pattern is so pretty!

Did I mention they are like wearing PJs?

Am I sounding desperate enough yet?

Gratuitous shot of my handmade necklace.

Shoes – Clarks, Pepulm – Zara, Necklace – Handmade, Harem Pants – Anthropolgie via Buffalo Exchange Thrift

The other reason why I think I kind of like this outfit now?

The peplum.

If you want the illusion of a smaller waist wear a tight fitted bodice that flutters out and away from the hips. Those women in the 1800's knew a thing about visually creating a tiny waist.

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