We all know that life is constantly changing, evolving and moving forward. Sometimes it feels like we are stagnating or moving backwards but that is only our perception. We continue on our own path inching forward daily.
The One Constant In Life Is Change
One would think by the age of fifty-one (soon-to-be fifty-two) I would be accepting of the inevitable changes that occur in life. I should understand that every moment gives us a new beginning and a new ending. Changes should be celebrated and not feared, yet I find myself railing against major changes in my life more so now than I did when I was younger. Instead of viewing them as an opportunity I worry about their consequences and how it will affect the trajectory of my life. Instead of remaining in the moment I’m years ahead of myself.
I’ve lost that magical connection to the present.
The ability to breathe and appreciate where I am.
Remaining in the here and now is a skill set I excelled at in my early years.
Didn’t we all? When the world was our oyster and nothing would stop us from achieving whatever we wanted?
With age comes acceptance and sometimes acceptance can slow us down.
Allowing reality to step all over implausible dreams is another way of saying we have matured and acquired wisdom.
Acceptance of reality without abandonment of dreams is the sweet spot.
Reality has a way of poking crater-like holes in my dreams until they are finally just fluffs of air that blow away with the slightest wind.
I’d love to have some of my youthful naivety back.
That blissful ignorance that propels us to react without reflecting, jumping without looking for a place to land.
I stumbled across this quote and it resonated with me today…
“Change is hard at first, messy in the middle and gorgeous at the end.” – Robin Sharma
Do you find that you are more or less accepting of change as you grow older?
Linking up with Fancy Friday
We become more fearful of change as we get older. I had a lot of change in the last 2 years and I can’t say I embraced it. It was unexpected. But now I’ve come through it and I’m proud that I powered through and confounded myself with how I rose to the challenge.
No doubt that buoyed your self confidence. We are stronger than we realize.
I don’t know if age helps us accept change or makes us fear it more, I guess it depends on the person. I’ve never embraced change; quite the contrary. I’ve spent most of my life thinking obsessively about approximately 358 (give or take) possible scenarios (all negative) resulting from any change in my life. And ‘change’ (usually not instigated by me) has probably been the one thing that has been constant in my life. Yet, whatever the circumstances, I tend to hang on to status quo for dear life. And yes, I realise that makes me sound totally neurotic. So, what I hope to achieve, with age, is a little bit of that ‘Oh-what-the-hell’ attitude and stop worrying. Even if it’s just for being so fed up with feeling afraid of change…
It’s a work in progress isn’t it?
Learning to let go seems so easy and comes so hard.
This is something I didn’t know of you Tiina. My way of dealing with such worries is to envision the worst case scenario. A likely one, not far fetched, look at it and think “do I die? Does somebody else die? If that were to actually happen, would that be so bad in the greater scheme of things?” Almost always the answer is no. It helps me to put things in perspective. I also don’t care much about what others think, that helps. And anything outside my circle of influence I don’t worry about. Pointless. Worrying is pointless anyway but you already know that. Worrying about something never solved the problem. Talking about it can though. Other people’s stories and opinions might put you in the right direction.
Greetje
Woops.. I see I forgot a bit.. if somebody were to die, that would be bad indeed. Usually my worst case scenarios have more options…
Yeah…someone dying is pretty much the very worst.
Great Post! Change is hard with aging, but changing into full retirement on a fixed income is more scary. Learning to live on less is much harder than watching the changes in my aging body. Thank God my mental stabilty is still intact and I can relate.
My big health scare and illness a few years back really woke me up. Financial changes are indeed very stressful but nothing compared to losing control of my physical self. Like mental stability physical health trumps all for me.
Suzanne,
I adore this rich mix of patterns and gorgeous camel tones. I think I am fairly lucky with my perspective. I have always faced obstacles and therefore have never taken anything for granted .
Perhaps I have been lucky in that nothing has ever been completely easy and I never ever felt that the world was my oyster? Is it possible to be lucky to have a cumulative life experience where bad luck, or trying circumstances, was part of the challenge ? Also I think we are more of sum of our decisions as much as anything.
Fabulous look. Thoughtful post topic. Delicious writing and styling, as per usual !!
Change is hard !
❤️❤️❤️
Elle
https://theellediaries.com/
I’m saddened to know you have never had that feeling of the world laid out before you. Then again, as you stated, maybe it has made you less likely to set your expectations too high. You learned to simply be grateful for what you have.
Life’s challenges are what create and shape the people we become.
Decisions play into that however when it comes to health some people have drawn the short straw and I’m sure they question why.
Is fear of change an age thing? I’ve always assumed it’s determined by the type of person you are rather than something that happens with the passing of time. I have a fear of routine and relish change and throwing myself into odd situations, I think that’s why I love to travel with no plans, a glorious month ahead of us with no agenda. It’s freeing, exciting and you learn such a lot about both yourself and humanity in general.
That outfit is gorgeous. I’ve been wearing my turquoise leather coat this week, a sign the weather’s starting to warm up a little. xxx
For me it has changed dramatically with age. In my youth I travelled endlessly and often alone without a plan. I’ve lived all over Europe doing odd jobs not knowing where my next paycheque was coming from. Now, as I grow older, I think the burden of not having a plan for future, knowing that when old age creeps up and health issues become a high possibility I wonder how we will manage. I have a harder time remaining in the moment.
I did learn loads of things when I travelled on my own as you suggested, and much about humanity, some of it very frightening indeed. Given the choice though I’d go back and do it all over again in a heartbeat. My teens and 20’s were the best.
i think i had no fears when i was young – and as a result sometimes ended up in bad scenarios……. but i was kind of sturdy and survived with nothing more then scars.
now i have lost much of that physical strength and a lot of my nerves – so i prefer the life to be a “long, quiet river”.
but i really live in the now & here – i know that the best laid plans can be knocked overboard just so…..
i´m just happy that i´m still here – and have still all the needles on the fir ;-DDD
xxxx
I love the idea of a long quiet river. Right now it feels like I’m in raging rapids and it’s not as fun as it used to be.
Such a thoughtful post, Suzanne, especially as it’s something I am struggling with. I have always struggled with change a bit, even when I was younger, but it’s true that I was able to take everything a bit more in my stride when I was younger. It’s getting harder and harder to cope with, and yes, as a result I sometimes have problems living in the moment. Being the eternal worrywort is not really helping. My husband, who is 14 years older, keeps telling me the same thing: he’s been having more and more problems coping with and adjusting to change. So it must be something that comes with aging. xxx
I know that when my grandparents aged they became more adverse to change. They stopped travelling and stayed close to home where they felt more comfortable. They also became more accepting which I found interesting.
Change can be very frightening when it’s a change you have no control over, such as the things that happen to your body as you age. I’ve had lots of change in my life with regard to jobs and relationships, and have considered myself pretty able to go with the flow when necessary. I was forced to leave the apartment I lived in for almost 20 years and that was a distressing change, but once I had accepted there was nothing I could do about it, I moved on. Yep, I’d say that physical changes are the hardest for me to accept, but I’d better start learning how to do it, because I think there’s going to be many more in the years to come.
Tis true that it is changes that we have no control over that are the hardest to come to terms with. As you wrote though what choice do we have? We just have to keep moving forwards.
I’ve embraced getting older no problem. The only thing I hate is the wrinkles and sagging on the face. They are the only things that get me down. Other than that I still feel and live my life the same as I did in my thirties. I just need to win the lottery for a facelift!
Laurie xx
As bloggers we focus on superficial signs of aging far too much I think. It is hard not to when we have to constantly look at photos of ourselves.
Health issues due to ageing are whole other story. They can affect one’s quality of life and emotional well being.
Dealing with massive changes in my life rather than just aging (which is already challenging), are harder to process.
I’m facing the real threat of losing my eyesight. That’s a change I’m having to prepare for. We will obviously be trying to prevent this change but if or when it happens I would love to imagine there would be some acceptance or peace xx
That is terrible Maria.
Serious health issues manage to focus our brains on what truly matters in life.
I hope you manage to find a solution. Sending healing thoughts your way.
Suzanne
I wonder if there’s a difference between dealing with change you can’t control and cultivating change toward that sweet spot you mentioned. I’ve always embraced change, relished in it. I love trying new things, living different lives. But there’s a difference between that kind of change and things that just happen without my permission. I don’t like that second kind of change. (Insert stomped foot and crossed arms here.)
So I wonder–is it a control thing? Do we just get worn down from the changes that are bound to happen over time? Do we grow wiser with acceptance of those things? Or is it resignation? I don’t know. For me, I continue to cultivate the changes I want to happen and wrestle with the other when it slams into me.
PS: I love this outfit. But that should be no surprise to you.
Hugs,
– Sherry
I agree it is the changes that are forced upon me that are the most difficult. Otherwise I still welcome change when Ive had some input.
Sherry addressed this SO beautifully!
I think that individual life experience and critical reflection foster maturity and a more rational and pragmatic personal world view. We have control over very little and I think that reality can cause fear and loathing or build strength to simply move forward. Stagnation is motivated by fear. Physical and mental impairment can impose barriors that require huge courage and indurance to move beyond. Life IS change. How we conquer fear of change may actually be the key to living our fullest lives.
I love what you wrote Jude. I think I’m going to make myself a mini poster of this, “How we conquer fear of change may actually be the key to living our fullest lives.”
Brilliant. Just brilliant.
Great post, Suzanne. You seem to read our minds. It is harder, I think, to be buoyant in our later years. But so worth it! I really like what you said about the naïveté of youth – a curse and a blessing. xox