Valentine’s Day The Precursor To Social Media
I remember when I was a kid…waaaaay back when. I’m talking before the internet, before personal computers, before cell phones. It’s hard imagine isn’t it? Technology controls our lives now.
Let’s go back to the “dark ages”.
Back when you had to rely on your parents ten year old set of encyclopedias for school projects.
When there were two channels on TV.
Back when you had to know your Dad’s hiding spot for his stash of Playboy magazines to see naked people.
Oh those innocent days of yore!
Let’s go even further back to when I was in primary school.
We didn’t realize it then, but we had already developed our own form of soul crushing social media.
It was done a little bit differently at the time.
In preparation for Valentine’s Day each year we would decorate a little brown paper bag or box and tape it to the front of our desk with our name on it. On Valentine’s Day we were given the opportunity to drop cards into our friend’s bag/post box. At the end of the day we would ceremoniously dump our our cards onto our desk and count them.
It goes without saying that the person with the most Valentine cards won.
Kids felt the sting of unpopularity well before “likes” or “follows” were developed. They understood the value of a card from someone they didn’t know or care about. It was all about the numbers.
Sound familiar?
It took many years to turn every day into Valentine’s Day but hooray for technology and social media!
Now we can feel unpopular daily.
When your numbers are failing does that mean you are failing? If you don’t get enough followers or likes it can affect your self esteem.
Just like when we were kids you wonder why your friend got so many more Valentine cards/likes/followers than you did. You’re just as good as her. What’s she got that you don’t have?
Aside from the Insta-perfect flawless face, enviable figure and highly stylized aspirational life?
(Yeah…aside from that of course.)
Have you fallen down that dark social media rabbit hole?
Where jealousy and envy quickly turn into insecurity and sadness? It’s lonely in the blackness even though there are millions there wondering why they aren’t good enough.
Valentine’s Day cards, likes or follows do not represent personal value in life. They do not equate to how funny, intelligent, loveable or kind you are.
Surrendering your self worth to random people is madness.
You have the power to choose not to allow complete strangers to dictate your happiness.
It’s good to turn it all off and just be. Without noise or distraction. In your own skin. Grateful that you are alive.
You are whole.
You are human.
You are worthy.
Linking up with the lovely Patti for Visible Monday
and linking up with Jess for Turning Heads.
Wonderful, Suzanne – you’ve hit on a subject so close to all our hearts: what’s the measure of our worth? It’s surely not the Instagram dudes who steal the Prime Minister’s pic and “follow” us. And your story of Valentine’s Day in elementary school brings back painful memories (I was fat, one of the mortal sins).
You look smashing as ever, love it when you don a beret. Thanks for writing this, xox
-Patti
http://notdeadyetstyle.com
Ha ha! Yeah…that dude was such an idiot! You’d think he would at least look for another photo. Now I see lots of guys are stealing photos of doctors and using them instead. Good grief.
It’s hard to believe you were ever fat Patti. Mind you, since everyone guessed the wrong kid in the old photo it must be hard to believe I was ever tall. Ha ha!
I’ve heard about the school Valentine’s day mailboxes of yore and the rat race of who got the most Valentine’s…I guess it’s a perk of homeschool life that I never had that experience! Blogging and the internet and the friends that come with it can be so much fun…but there definitely is a darker side when numbers become king and comments from internet strangers matter more than the opinons of ourselves or our nearest and dearest!
It is often true that a stranger’s comment can hurt us much more than the opinion of someone we know. It’s a shame.
What an interesting comparison, Suzanne. Luckily Valentine’s Day wasn’t a big thing here when I was a child and other than a mention of the day at school assembly, there were no cards or popularity contests.
I’m sad for people who get so wound up over followers, comments and likes. Although I do appreciate anyone who reads my blog or likes my IG photos it’s not the be all and end all. After five weeks away from the internet it’s a wake up call that life’s for living first and sharing later.
You look incredible, I wish I looked half as good as you in a beret! That family photo is adorable, what a bunch of cuties (including the dog!) xxx
I’m sure every year you look forward to not only your holiday away, but your holiday away being plugged in and connected.
I am so very glad Valentines Day wasn’t a thing here in Australia when I was growing up – how to destroy a kids self esteem in one day.
I am so glad I participate in Social Media for my own interest and don’t take it all too seriously but I can see how it could so easily bring you down if you are one to compare yourself to others . I am so glad I am not a self conscious teenager growing up with the pressure of Social Media .
Me too. I’m so grateful that my antics weren’t caught on someone’s phone to replay for eternity.
I couldn’t comment on your blog so I’m pasting what I would have liked to say here. I can no longer comment on blogs that don’t have name and URL or anonymous.
What a wonderful parasol! The colour on it is mimicked in your fab Fly shoes.
The entire outfit is so chic and well put together.
That duck is beautiful. We don’t have anything like it up here. She is wearing the same colours as you.
Suzanne
Gah – thanks… you reminded me of one of my (many) least favourite school memories … the emptying of the little box at the end of the day was toe-curlingly uncomfortable every time. However, I would never have swapped that little gem of social demeaning for the stuff the kids go through today…
Me neither. It used to be when you went home you could get away from bullies as school. Now they haunt you on social media.
Valentine’s Day wasn’t a thing here in Belgium when I was growing up, but I certainly see the comparison with social media, and yes, it would be silly not to admit that comparing yourself to others through social media can be crushing, especially if your self esteem is at a low point, or when you’re young and impressionable. I’m glad social media weren’t around when I was a teenager. And I’m cringing when I think of the effects a Valentine’s Day box would have had on the extremely insecure girl I was in primary school! I’m loving the gingham maxi, and the family photo. I think the smallest girl is you! xxx
Nope…everyone guessed incorrectly. I’m the tall thin one : ) Shame I couldn’t hang onto that.
I think the social media pressure on kids today is horrendous.
I’m glad to agree on Valentine’s Day not being popular here when I was a child (mwhaha, those good ol’times when we had two tv channels and cartoons time was waited as a daily miracle!)
But I’ve noticed that it’s increasingly popular in schools nowadays, and that’s bad news, as I think there’s nothing educative nor inspiring in Valentine’s Day. No need to push children into being more competitive or popular. It’s bad enough that we, as adults, are being pushed to keep on running into this hamster wheel!
Glad that there’re still people sharing a fab attitude and making the most of social media!, glad to see you rocking!. Totally in love with your gingham skirt! and your beret!
besos
We used to get up early every Saturday morning to watch cartoons.
suzanne – this ensemble is wonderful! this fresh gingham skirt in maxi length, the boots peeping underneath, the pattern mixed top and the sweet beret… all topped by the whimsical bag!
as to the problem – i never had it. i was soooo much different to my classmates/kids in the hood as a kid – and i was aware of it – expecting popularity came not to my mind. and it was not that big “theme” back then – it was communismus, all are equal and no valentines day of cause ;-D
and if we wanted to see naked people we just had to go to a random lake or strand – there were plenty of! swimmwear was for the public pool…
supercute old photo!
xxxx
We have a nude beach in Toronto, but I’ve never been.
You Europeans so much more relaxed when it comes to nudity.
Such a true message, and I loved going back in time like this, Suzanne. Because I totally remember doing that. I’m not even sure I counted the ones I got, but I always looked for the cutest Valentines…my favorite was a lion that I used to recreate all the time!!
This outfit is truly stunning, Suzanne!! I just bought a beret a couple of months ago, and I’ve been trying to figure out the correct way to wear it. I left it too flat last time, but now I’m getting better…
XOXO
Jodie
http://www.jtouchofstyle.com
I do find that the weight of the beret is important for me. Some are just too heavy and sit weird (or flat as you mentioned) on my head. The one I’m wearing here…my favourite one is made out of thin cotton and is wonderfully comfortable.
Valentines’ Day was a pretty big deal at the small country school I attended and your popularity was measured by the number of cards on your desk. I always got a few, thank god, as my self esteem was low enough as a child to start with. It’s true that social media is similar to the “number of cards on your desk” but while it’s nice to know there are people out there who enjoy reading and commenting on your posts, my self-confidence doesn’t go up and down with my follower numbers.
You were a cute kid, and still are 😉
Did you figure out which one I was?
Cute card! Love this post. Yes, it is madness to care too much about others’ opinions but all of us fall prey to that when we’re young and only a small number of us learn to outgrow that insanity. Excellent post.
Reading through the thoughtful comments, I sense that much of the world has been spared the drama that is the Valentine’s Day Box. I remember it well…feverishly counting the number of cards I received. Really…what a terrible thing to subject young children to.
I love the dialogue in your post Suzanne. It’s making me consider dialing back on social media.
I love your outfit today as well. The beret! And that skirt! Your legs look a mile long.
I was going to sell this skirt but after I tried it on I knew that a-line shape and high waist would be good on me. I think I’ll be keeping it for a bit : )
I loved your post and memories! It is amazing, I had no idea how it was done before – the cards, the popularity thing, so more or less like today, it’s true. Yes, today people can feel bad on a daily basis 🙂 I seldom use facebook and Instagram I started on Dec 23 – and have only 22 photos there 🙂 Don’t know whether I will go on with it. On a fashion note, you look fabulous – I loved your skirt and beret! Tres chic! Hope you have a nice week!
DenisesPlanet.com
I *really* want to get rid of my social media accounts but have held off because of my Etsy store. I feel though that next year I’ll be getting rid of at least FB and Twitter. Ideally I’d get rid of IG too.
Good point Suzanne, I suppose I never thought of card giving like that. I’m not sure, but I went to a parochial school, where I think we had to give out the same number or to all my classmates. Anyway, I get your comparison! I wrote in my Ann. Post today about how I am not fond of social media…it sucks up time, and I would love to just have the blog, if I could.
Love your pictures from yesteryear. I continue to give paper cards to my mom and hubby, I feel they’re a bit more special than an ecard.
Love your skirt♥️♥️
Jess xx
http://www.elegantlydressedandstylish.com
You and me both! I can’t stand social media. What value does it bring to our lives? At least with blogging I feel like I’m connecting a bit.
I think we are both old school. I find ecards a bit tacky.
How strange is that! I have never heard of it! We certainly haven t got that in the Netherlands! Lovely look!
You touch on a common experience for many of us, Suzanne. A small country school, yes, this was a big day. The only Valentine’s I cared about really were from my best friends and two boys I had a crush on (haha, not content with one). And we always made our best home-made Valentine’s for our teacher, full of white glue and glitter and red felt if we were lucky to get our hands on some.
The social media numbers are illusory for sure, but the best highs come from the real friendships that have made the leap into 3D life. Definitely.
I have to say that many of the things I enjoy are audience-dependent – art, writing, video, photo-taking. But does social media improve my chances for success or merely string me along into thinking it does? No matter what, the heart of the making process is in 3D life.
I wonder where dependence on our electronic devices will take our species?
I think it is so interesting that you point out that what you love doing is audience dependent. Is it really though? Would you still be doing those things even if no one was viewing your art? I would like to think so. Does an audience create value?
I still feel you are at the tipping point of some huge amount of success and cash (hopefully) coming your way. There has to be some benefit to becoming a social media influencer other than free tights.
As for your last question it is taking us straight to Hell. Ha ha! Joking…but not really. I do believe that AI will take over the world as humans become lazier and lazier living in their own post consumerism filth. Where we are now isn’t sustainable. Needless to say I don’t have a positive view on how technology controls our lives.
PS – You look smashing in that maxi skirt with zee beret! and awesome bag.
Wise words indeed, Suzanne. Me? I don’t give a toss about numbers/followers etc.
I love your maxi skirt; it looks so elegant with your booties, top and beret!
Have a lovely week.
What a brilliant and moving analogy comparing Valentine’s Day to social media likes. I, also, remember those wonderful days of cardboard boxes and handmade valentines day cards.
I loved making my boxes and receiving the cards. I also loved the little heart shaped candies with silly little sayings on them.
Perhaps those little sayings became the precursor to comments on the blogs and Instagram posts. LOL.
I love your look today, as I always do. You always stand out in a very special way. Your gingham check skirt is fabulous and I adore your handbag.
We are who we are, and we need to be valued for our own qualities and intrinsic worth. Nothing that comes from screen , is going to validate us in any meaningful way !!!
But I sure do love my emoji‘s! I love that cute card that Ally sent you.
Happy week, ❤️ sweet valentine!
❤️❤️❤️
Elle
https://theellediaries.com/
I don’t doubt those candies were where they got the ideas for IG comments. Ha ha! You’re sweet! LuvU! Ha ha!
This evening I was forced from my tablet by what could be an internet virus. I switched to my phone so quickly and seamlessly. Keeping those online balls in the air…
I never counted Valentine’s. We were told to give a Valentine to every member of the class and I always did. I never noticed that anyone was short on cards or candy
( we gave and got that too!)
You’re that darling tiny girl in the photo. So full of smiles and hopefulness!
I sure hope you didn’t get a virus.
You had a very egalitarian school. And candy too? You guys were lucky.
Ha! I can’t believe everyone is guessing wrong. See, there was a time in my life when I was tall and thin…it was when I was a kid. Sadly I outgrew that. My sister grew to be taller than me by the time she was about 15.
I love this post! So, so incredibly true!
Although when I was a kid, we had a rule in our classroom that if you brought cards, you had to bring them for everyone. I guess they had learned from previous years 😉
On another note- this gingham skirt is gorgeous and you wear it so well.
What a terrific post Suzanne. Soooo true. Every word of it.
I like to add something. I read a report in a magazine of a woman who did not look in the mirror (or shop window, or car window etc.) for 12 days. From getting up to going to bed. She felt weird of course, but after the 12 days she also felt that she had become softer, less judgemental, softer eyes. And she liked that a lot. It made her see how all this assessing of exterior was affecting her being.
Greetje