First I'd like to say a huge thank you to those of you that sent me heartfelt wishes of concern during the last couple of weeks. They really did mean a great deal to me.
We have been going through one of those "stop-you-in-your-tracks" life altering moments that makes you re-asses the path your life is taking.
Recently, as part of a new medical package through my husband's work insurance he had to undergo a complete body evaluation. It was during this random opportunity that large mass was discovered in his kidney.
On Feb 25th my husband was diagnosed with kidney cancer.
Six days ago I waited the longest 14 agonizing hours of my life in hospital for him to return from surgery.
Once the surgery was over I thought we had gotten through the worst of it.
I was wrong.
I never knew things would turn so bad so quickly.
Complications after surgery almost ended him. I can't even describe how difficult these moments have been. For a seemingly healthy asymptomatic guy it was an impossible scenario to imagine.
After four excruciating days of truly not knowing if he would be returning home he finally showed signs of improvement.
Last night he came home and I am ever-so-grateful.
I am cautiously optimistic. We will know more in a couple of weeks.
I'm trying to look back now and see the lessons this experience has taught me. Things that I thought were important to me suddenly seem ridiculous and futile.
I am reminded that true love starts when the journey becomes impossibly difficult. When you are no longer cushioned by the soft bubble of ignorant bliss. When a weaker heart would crack and flee under the burden. When the choices we make matter. When our love makes a difference.
Things may be a little sporadic until I get my head back on straight. I'm working towards understanding the new normal of our lives. How our lives are now divided into the days before cancer and the days after cancer.
Thanks again for all your thoughts. I feel we have turned a corner and hopefully this time I'm right.