I would eat until the fear of exploding forced me to lay down.
Years ago, an eleven course tasting menu in Prince Edward Island was the apex of my overeating. The chefs were so impressed with our ability to eat that they offered us additional free late night sandwiches to take home with us after the almost five hour meal. We politely declined the offer while nursing our aching bellies. As practicing hedonists our affinity towards tasting menus was eclipsed only by our love of wine pairing menus which meant alcohol was paired with each course. Alcohol made the gluttony stomachache easier to endure but could make the challenge of rising from the table problematic.
Things I Loved When I was Younger That I Dislike Now
Overeating
If I overeat now I feel gross. The maximum size of tasting menu that would interest me now would be three courses but honestly we prefer to share two mains between us and one dessert.
Nowadays, after a day of overeating, the chubby food baby appears much faster and no longer leaves after a day or two. She overstays her welcome and can stick around for years. On top of the “Belly Food Baby” a couple of “Food Baby Twins” snuggle up around my hips and thighs while hanging out with the “Belly Baby”. They all steadfastly refuse to move on.
At the age of fifty-three just the thought of overeating to such extreme makes me turn a little green and begin to sweat, although almost anything can make me sweat now thanks to my erratic, raging hot flashes.
Over Drinking
I stopped all alcohol over four years ago due to allergies. My husband stopped drinking over three years ago. We don’t regret it.
In the past, at the age of twenty-one, when I briefly lived in Hawaii, I began my day with a couple of Bartles and Jaymes wine coolers. My friends and I would sleep on the beach till late afternoon and ease into Long Island Iced Teas at happy hour. I wouldn’t stumble home to the condo until around three in the morning after a full night of partying and dancing. I don’t know how my body survived the abuse.
Those days of eating and drinking binges are behind me. My body can no longer cope with such excess. In fact my overall joy of eating and drinking has eroded over the years. I’d far sooner spend money on a trip or an experience than a restaurant.
Over Shopping & Shopping Retail
I’m ashamed to say that in the past I was chronic retail shopper. I didn’t care where I shopped, I just wanted to find the coolest stuff at the best price. My closet was already full but that didn’t quench my desire to consume. After a full day of shopping, still intoxicated with the dopamine rush from buying, I’d pile the bags of just purchased clothing onto my bed so I could admire my bounty. I’d try on each piece, modeling it for my husband while gushing about my shopping prowess. He was happy I was happy but the thrills from shopping don’t last long and I’d be jonesing for my next purchase within days. It took me years to learn that it didn’t matter how much I bought, I’d always be seeking the next buyer’s high.
I’ve given up shopping retail except for some footwear, socks and underwear. If I have a gift card to spend I won’t let it go to waste but otherwise I steer clear of malls and shops. The thrill of acquiring new has been replaced by the guilt of turning the planet into a massive garbage dump. Unlike what Gordon Gekko stated, Greed Is Not Good. Greed is destroying our only home.
I no longer over shop for my own closet. I do shop used and thrift every couple of weeks to stock my Etsy store. It is true that sometimes the lines between my store and my closet blur but I now find that too much of anything makes me stressed. Keeping inventory for my shop has taught me how to value the pieces that make my heart sing and let go of so many others that were simply space holders until something better came along.
Living For Today Without Thinking About Tomorrow
In the past I never spent time worrying about what tomorrow would bring. I was living in the present. I didn’t make plans and I didn’t save money. I dropped out of university to travel and experience life while working odd jobs across Europe. I met my husband on one such excursion. This is the carefree mentality that youth allows.
I still like to live for today but we’ve had a few scary wake-up calls this past year regarding health and physical abilities. I discovered I can no longer continue assuming that everything will always be alright. Having adequate insurance in place is no longer an option, it is a necessity.
I still believe in living for today but I’ve come to realize that the older I get the more I need to plan for tomorrow.
To some it may seem like I have waited far too long to come to these realizations and to others it will seem like I’m overreacting. I can only base my decisions on my personal life experiences. We all arrive at our choices in our own time.
What things did you love when you were younger that you dislike now?
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What a brilliant post, Suzanne. Your adventurous youth helped make you who you are today, and our adventurous youths just can’t be sustained at some point! Like you, I eat and drink less, shop way less, and do try to enjoy every day. As always, *these* are the good old days.
Your Etsy shop is beautiful, and an expression of your love of art and form! And your husband is dreamy, if i may say so, and so is your red-and-white dress. xox
Patti
http://notdeadyetstyle.com
Yes, these truly are the good old days. We will never be as young as we are right now : )
You have so many memories that you cherish now from those heady days gone by. And now you’re making new memories. Just like in the past, some memories are better than others but they all add up to a life lived.
When I was younger I believed I had to have X, Y, or Z to prove I was alive/successful/of value. Then I had X, Y, or Z, and realized I had to maintain it or store it or have extra insurance on it or deal with it when I moved. My perspective on what proves my value and allows for a legacy has shifted a lot in the last decade. Of course, each person makes these calls for themselves. Some value the things I’ve gotten rid of and some see those things in the same way I did–as a prison. Neither perspective is right or wrong, it just is. But as I get older I like the idea of simplifying more and more.
That dress you found in Houston is really delightful and I love how you styled it with the shoes and chapeau.
Hugs,
Sherry
http://www.petiteover40.com
I can tell you that I really could have done without some of the memories I’ve made this year but you are right of course, they still add up to a life lived.
I think it is very interesting that you said some of those things you thought you valued in the past felt more like a prison. Everything in life is relative to our perspective and our personal history.
This really hits home for me too Suzanne. I wonder if we had to do many of these things in order to be where we are at right now. It’s like the country song where if you don’t have fun when you’re young, what kind of stories can you tell as an oldie??
It’s kinda a learning experience. At least that’s my rationale.
And I do think there a good part about living for the moment. You can go the other extreme and never live. I feel like I might have done that in my professional life. And now, I’m finally having fun.
XOOX
Jodie
Ha ha! I don’t know that song but I was certainly singing it in my youth.
I don’t know many people that retired as young as you did Jodie. I can see why you did it if that was how you felt.
It sounds like you take better care of yourself now–I think something that many people only tend to realize is important a little later than they ought to. I fondly remember days when Angel worked night shift and I’d stay home alone and stay up past midnight reading classic mystery novels and eating an entire box of pizza rolls by myself. Don’t do that anymore…I highly doubt my stomach would tolerate such treatment if I tried it. And baby might be awake by 5 a.m. so the allure of staying up late for no reason is long gone. 😛
Babies change everything.
Yup, this is what getting old looks like. 🙂
Seriously, you’re smarter now even if our bodies don’t bounce back from the abuse we committed in our youth. The wise thing to do, as you know, is focus on what matters. We’re mostly oblivious in our youth but age really clarifies that. Great post.
Nothing like some serious issues to come along and force us to focus on what matters, right? Now we just need to remember daily.
It sounds like you’ve become very sensible in later life, Suzanne, and I think this applies to us all. We get wiser as we get older!
I did enjoy this post and I totally agree with your mantra; ‘live for today, but prepare for tomorrow’.
I used to smoke but stopped 13 years ago. I’ve never really got into over eating; or excessive retail shopping as I never had any spare money when my children were small. I was a single parent from the time they were 11 and 12, so again no spare money!
I did binge drink in my teens but not since. When I did start going out again and socialising in my late 30s I knew my alcohol limits and stuck to them.
By the way, I loved you in your animal print, denim jacket and boots plus beret. Fabulous!
Hope you’re having a good week.
xxx
It’s so funny Vronni but there are quite a few people I know that haven’t gotten wiser with age. LOL I don’t know how they continue to function honestly. They are children in adult bodies.
Good on you for quitting smoking! I’ve heard that’s a hard habit to kick.
What a wonderfully poignant and insightful post, Suzanne. I do think that it goes for all of us that our interests (and foibles) change when we go through life. I was never an over-eater, rather a small portions girl (and still am) but it’s fair to say that I didn’t have any restraint when it came to drinking. I stopped drinking alcohol 25 years ago this September and it’s the best decision I’ve ever made. Like you, I was an avid retail shopper, and it makes me feel physically sick thinking about all the unnecessary cheap stuff I bought over the years. Another thing I loved was going out in the evenings. I’ve become quite a homebody in the last 10 to 15 years. Love the dotty vintage dress. Are you sure you want to part with it? xxx
Congrats on being 25 years alcohol free Ann! It isn’t always easy when so many social events feature booze.
Yes, I’ve decided that I have other great vintage dresses that I love more than this one so it can feature prominently in someone else’s closet rather than my own : )
great post – dear suzanne!
never was a retail shopper, but even my 2.hand shopping was & is more homöopathic…. never liked to have MUCH. could eat and drink a lot too when younger – must be careful now, but still like me a good booze in small doses ;-D
only thing i will plan for the future is a bottle with deadly plant sirup – no cared to dead for me.
xxxx
I think many people I know would like to have a better system for choosing to opt out in old age like your plant syrup. There are quite a few northern European countries that have adopted better strategies. Canada is lagging behind.
What a great read! Loved the photos of you, Robert and Zoe, too. Your red dress is lovely on you.
I was never into shopping retail, I just never got it (blame my outrageous mother for instilling into me the value of dressing individually)
Food’s always been more fuel than anything else to me, I enjoy what I eat but never eat to excess – alcohol is a different matter altogether says the woman who went on a 9 hour lager binge on Monday although these days I do wait until lunchtime before I have an alcoholic drink (your past sounded like mine!)
Your advice about thinking of tomorrow is very sensible and I can totally understand where you’re coming from after the health scares you’ve experienced this year. xxx
I think it is all kinds of awesome that your Mom was the reason you loved thrifting from an early age.
You are the type of person that eats to live rather than lives to eat.
I would have required hospitalization going on a nine hour lager binge at this stage in my life. Your energy astounds me.
If I think about the things I loved when I was much younger (we’re talking childhood here) such as watching old movies, reading, art, and animals, they have remained favorite things as I’ve grown older. I used to love going out dancing when I was in my 20’s and 30’s, but there aren’t any places left where I would feel comfortable doing that where I live and my energy level isn’t what it used to be ;). I could stay up pretty late, even on a weeknight when I had to work the next day, which I definitely can’t do anymore.
I definitely do less retail shopping than I did when I was in my 30’s, which is the time where most of my “retail therapy” happened.
Sounds like some great changes!
http://www.chezmireillefashiontravelmom.com
Hi! I’ve been reading your blog for quite awhile but never posted. Love your style! When I got my first full time job, I wasn’t making much money but I spent every penny of it on shopping for myself and never saved anything. Of course I was young and wanted to just be carefree. When I look back at those times, I wish I had just saved a small portion of my pay. It took being a mother and having responsibilities for my children to realize that I needed to change something. I still like to shop but not like I used to. I call it growing up and maturing. Some people never get there but I’m glad I did. Love your red/white dress! You really know how to put an outfit together. Arlene from NJ
Thanks for commenting Arlene!
I’m glad I’m not the only one that regrets not saving some money along the way.
Good Points Suzanne! I do enjoy food but can’t overeat due to Gastroperesis.. my stomach digests at the rate of a snail…. so I get fuller fast. There are times I want to eat more, but I know what you mean, there is a line and when you feel like you are going to explode, its no fun!
I like what you said about planning for tomorrow, too. I need to get on that ball more!
I used to like being out late when I was younger, but now, sadly, most nights I am in bed by 9 or 10. I didn’t care too much about my sleep, now I cherish a good nights sleep!
Interesting post! Hope you are doing well.. its so DARN hot here!
jess xx
http://www.elegantlydressedandstylish.com
It’s hot here to lately. It was 44C which is something like 112F on the weekend. I don’t even like going outside when it’s that hot.
I used to like to go out in the summer not worrying about covering up, and even go suntanning. Not any more, not just because of sun exposure issues but I would get extremely bored just lying in the sun now. I don’t stay out really, really late cause I don’t go out dancing like I used to. I don’t miss these things. Almost never ever shop retail either. So many things have changed, for the better I think.
I agree: we all arrive at our choices in our own time. I am slowly working my way to not buying so much new stuff. All the other things I mailed.
Greetje