I'm going to share a secret with you. I don't like having my photo taken. In fact, I kind of hate it. Even as a child of 8 or 9 I can remember the anxiety of school photos. When they arrived in the mail I'd discreetly grab the package and run to my room tearing it open in private and gaze in horror wondering who the heck the weird looking kid with the stringy long hair and crooked strange half-smile was staring back at me. It couldn't possibly be me. They must have made a mistake and sent me someone else's photos.
As an adult I've never gotten over this phobia. You'll notice that I don't often look at the camera. This is me still trying to get used to my face in a photo. I describe my photo face as the "serious/psycho teacher", very authoritative, disapproving, jaw locked, teeth grinding behind my fake thin lipped "smile-for-the-camera!" look.
I don't think this is all in my head either. When I taught classes before people would often say that I looked like I'd lost about 2o lbs from the photos they'd seen of me. I had one gal tell me out-right that I look so much prettier in person than I do in my photos. It was one of those weird back-handed compliments.
My style blog is a little bit of therapy for me learning to finally relax in front of a camera. As you can see it's a work in progress. I still much prefer any photo of me after I've had a good martini. I need to post some shots of that so you can see the difference.
I rescued these photos from a batch that I felt I really didn't like. They were taken at the end of the day and I can tell I was just a bit fed up and tired. A little bit of Photoshop magic can help when this happens. I can't imagine what I did before Photoshop…oh yeah…I remember…I ran and hid when the camera came out.
I often get mad at my Mom for not having enough photos of me growing up, but I have a feeling I was probably more to blame for that than anyone.
Photos courtesy of Hazel Borg
