Thank heavens I don't have to take photos outside right now.
I had on my red puffy totally unfashionable down parka this morning when I went grocery shopping. Despite the feather insulation in the 10 seconds it took me to walk from the car to the store I thought all my blood had frozen into brittle ice crystals.
I looked like this dude but without the pants or moustach and a bit more hair.
The day I take a photo of myself in my down parka just shoot me. I've clearly given up.
On the way out the shopping cart even refused to work in the bitter temperatures. No joke! There I was struggling to force that metal carriage through the ice, the wheels stubbornly frozen in place. I had to push it so hard I almost went head first over the whole cart and barely escaped a serious face plant directly into my car. Nice.
Who knew grocery shopping was so exciting? What do Eskimos do I wonder? Order online and get Grocery delivery I imagine.
Just when I thought I was only a few seconds from the warm safety of my car one of my reusable shopping bags flew out of the back with a big gust of wind. I had to chase down that piece of vibrant pink plastic dancing its way through the parking lot. I looked like Mr. Bean chasing a pink flamingo. Just as soon as I got close the dang bag would swoosh up with the fierce wind just out of my grasp.
Thankfully that only happened twice.
Yep…twice that friggin' bag escaped.
Oh yeah, I was swearin' like a sailor by that time.
I briefly looked around to make sure I wasn't being punked and someone hadn't hooked that bag to a fishing line, reeling in their big catch of the day.
Normally I'd have let the bag go free in the wind and just felt remorse about the accidental littering afterwards, but it was my favourite one, extra big and sturdy. Please tell me I am not the only weirdo with a favourite reusable shopping bag.
So refusing to give up I stumbled around the parking lot, looking like a cherry coloured Michelin man /Frankenstein, my limbs frozen stiff, a feather wrapped mummy chasing after an escaping reusable shopping bag in the -30 C windchill that felt like liquid ice being sprayed directly on my face.
Do you think that counts as enough exercise for today?