Suzanne Carillo

 

The Mirror Lies – and so can your friends and family, only trust your camera.

Do you ever get someone to take a photo of you in an outfit because you can’t trust your mirror?

I do.

You might remember this from a couple of weeks ago…

 

 

And so here is the dress…

Yes, that is clearly my weird post surgery belly showing.

I don’t know why I’m smiling about it. As soon as I saw the photos I was horrified.  Visually that massive white dot is a big target on my stomach. It doesn’t look as obvious here because I have a turtleneck on under the dress but the solid colour and fabric of this dress magnified every single wrinkle, lump, scar and bump on my body.

I did not see that in the mirror. My husband didn’t notice it either.

I had to wait till my camera laid out the sad facts, simple and clear.

The only way I’d be keeping this dress would be if I magically lost my kangaroo pouch (like a sock in the dryer) or decided to invest in a tall crotch girdle (AKA Spanx).  I’ll remind you again about how I feel about Spanx.

Some would choose to view the scar on my stomach as a well earned war wound, a permanent medal of personal endurance. Personally I like to try to forget it is there. It is just a reminder of one of the very worst times in my life.  Often when I notice the scar all those emotions come rushing back to the surface and I remember my body sticking to a narrow stretcher, trapped in a crowded hallway suffocating in pain and fear, trying to ignore the nausea and dizziness so I could close my eyes and will myself to disappear.

Nope.

I don’t need to be reminded of that.

Needless to say, I sent the dress back.

Any dress that points a massive arrow at a small flaw in my body or makes me feel self conscious or doubtful about how strong, beautiful or fierce I am doesn’t belong in my closet.

End of story.

Clothing should boost our confidence, happiness and joy, not diminish it.

 

Linking up with Visible Monday, 52 Pick-me-up, Shoe and Tell