Suzanne Carillo

Do you find yourself shopping online and drooling over shoes like this?

Sexy shoes

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You can just picture how hot you will look strutting your stuff in these babies…

 

 

Now that you’ve come hurtling back down to earth from your delusional super galactic high and been slapped upside the face with some harsh reality I’d like to share with you some

Practical sensible shoes for women over 40

These are the shoes you can actually wear for more than 30 minutes…

without worrying about a strutting malfunction or mind numbing pain.

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And if I’m being totally honest the only ones I know for sure I could wear and walk in all day long would be the upper right MaryJanes.  Often my heels still slip out of shoes without straps, or I get blisters on the back of my heels, even with ballet flats or oxfords. Plus I have Fibromyalgia which amplifies any kind of discomfort or pain a thousandfold. So yeah, my feet are two super annoying high maintenance divas. I call one Mariah and the other Celine.

Has that stopped me from buying impractical shoes?

Ha ha!

Have you seen my closet?

The heart wants what the heart wants

…regardless of practicality. There is constant war raging of practical vs fanciful shoes in my head. I foolishly thought I was past the days of buying what I like to call either “bedroom” or “5 minute” shoes. The five minutes is the time it takes me to walk from the car to the restaurant. Anything beyond that and we are into some serious pain. The “bedroom” shoes sometimes don’t really touch the ground. I’m sure I don’t need to explain that any further.  If I do, you are too young to be reading this.

I was so proud of myself when I’d inadvertently stumbled into a shoe store ( I hate it when that happens!) and discovered these glorious floral works of art.

Stunning…

Yes!

Perfect for Spring!

Yes yes!

But totally unreasonable.  The heels are 4″.  Plus, I walked out of them after the second step.

Oh you bet I was sad, BUT I put them back in their place on the shelf and took a photo of them rather than taking them to the cash to add to my collection of beautiful but unwearable shoes.  Then I walked around the store and found these sensible comfortable pretty sandals instead. I was so proud of myself for fighting the urge to buy impractical shoes.

At the tender age of 48 I was finally becoming a responsible shopper.

I gave myself an imaginary pat on the back.

It was all going splendidly well until…

I accidentally wound up in yet another shoe store later that same week

( I was lost! I swear!)

and found these…

at a mere 70% off…

and then…

as if by magic…

responsible shopper just disappeared.

Instead, in her place, Melanie from Bag and a Beret  and Vix from Vintage Vixen whispered in my ear…

“Don’t be a FOOL woman! When are you ever in your pathetic life going to find another pair of Make-Even-****ing-Elvis-Cry crushed blue velvet booties with white heels at 70% off?”

They took me by the shoulders, shook me violently and stared intensely at me with their hypnotic glacier blue pools of persuasion. My legs got weak, my head started to spin and I lost all sense of practicality. Common sense didn’t exist anymore. Yes! I was willing to put out a hip and self medicate on vodka martinis every 30 minutes just to walk around in those too-tall-hooker-heels.

I dutifully grabbed the boots and raced towards the cash in fear that responsible shopper would reappear at any moment.  She was probably hiding out in the support hose and Spanx aisle.

In the end I can’t blame myself for yet another utterly impractical purchase.

I had no chance against Melanie and Vix’s far reaching powers of enticement.  We are all but pawns in this universe that is ruled by Mistress M and  Queen Vix.

Well…that is what I told my husband anyhow. I’m not sure if he bought it, but it makes me feel better.

I will say this…in my defence…they are booties, and I cannot walk out of them.

Are they comfortable? Up until the 30 minute mark. Then I need to take a break.

Why oh why are shoe makers not able to put some serious padding in the footbed of heels? Is that so difficult? Everyone would be happier. No matter the age. They have all this wonderful advanced technology in running shoes…just put that into heels. With padding. Lots of good, serious, padding. They don’t need to look ugly. I know it can be done.

We put a man on the moon! Making heels comfortable has to be a whole lot simpler than that.

I tried on a pair of booties by Chanel that were regular $3,000 expecting that at that price…they would be crazy comfortable.

They weren’t.

At all.  

Zero padding.

Seriously???

For $3,000 can’t you invest in some padding?

It’s just compressed plastic foam for Pete’s sake. Or is that because if I can afford to buy a pair of $3000 booties I should never need to walk anywhere, ever?  My manservants should be carrying me atop their well oiled muscular shoulders while I rest comfortably in a velvet lined chaise, my new booties at eye level of all those poor peasants passing by.

Just guessing.

And for those of you that can wear any kind of heel no matter your age,

I salut you!

You have been awarded a rare precious gift. Use it wisely, don’t take it for granted and please, please …don’t make fun of those of us that must wear, as a friend so lovingly recently pointed out to me, ” old lady shoes”.

 

Do you buy shoes for your heart or your head? How many pairs of 5 minute shoes do you own?