Suzanne Carillo

Have you watched Sherlock Holmes? The updated series by BBC? I finally gave it a try via Netflix and quite liked it. And yes that is the Hobbit playing the part of John Watson.

I'm Sherlock Holmes, the world's only consulting detective.
I'm not going to go into detail about how I do what I do because chances are you wouldn't understand. If you've got a problem that you want me to solve, then contact me. Interesting cases only please.
This is what I do:

1. I observe everything.

2. From what I observe, I deduce everything.

3. When I've eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how mad it might seem, must be the truth.

So today I give you my version …what would Sherlock say?

Shut up everybody, shut up! Don't move, don't speak, don't breathe, I'm trying to think.

You there, face the other way, you're putting me off. And don't talk out loud. You lower the IQ of the whole street.

Dear God. What is it like in your funny little brains? It must be so boring.

Okay…I'm concentrating…

Blue fedora worn, but not over worn. No sweat or dirt around the inside band. This isn't the only hat this woman wears. She probably has a large closet and collects hats.

Brown leather overcoat, unlike her hat, very well worn. Purchased at full price. She has worn this piece so as to get her money's worth out of it.

Sunglasses are cheap no name brand.

Upper middle income family, no kids.

Kleenex and lip balm in one pocket. She suffers from allergies and dry lips. Probably lives somewhere very dry and cold at this time of year.

Gold capped teeth with flat molars. She grinds her teeth at night and has a fear of dentists.

Type A personality. They are the biggest grinders.

Why does she have a fear of dentists?

Who doesn't dear Watson?

Hat – Gap, Boots – Thrifted, Belt – Thrifted, Jeans – Garage, Sweater – Old Tommy Hilfiger

Wedding band but no wedding ring. Got married at a young age unable to afford an engagement ring at the time and never bothered to buy one. She doesn't deem it necessary now. Unconventional. Doesn't follow the crowd.

Ring is very well worn, never cleaned. She never takes it off. Probably been married for over 20 years looking at the indent on her finger and the white line on her hand.

Belt has been altered to fit her. Boots are slightly too large. Both are probably a gift from a friend or bought at a charity shop. She supports environmental issues.

Dressed stylishly enough. Not high end, but not low end either. Takes care with her appearance despite her years. Hair colour is high maintenance. Works in an area where outward appearance is important.

Her clothes have been chosen with a definite visual style in mind. She is creative. Probably an artist.

No nail polish or manicure. An artist that works with her hands.

White hair on the lower part of her jeans. She owns a dog. A small dog.

More dog hair on her lap and sweater. The dog is demanding, always by her side.

She owns a pug.

Or rather the pug owns her.

Isn't it obvious John (Mr. Watson)?

The party we are looking for is a guilty pug.

Case closed.

Watson: We solve crimes. I blog about it, and he forgets his pants. I wouldn't hold out too much hope.

Sherlock: Put that in your blog – or better still, stop inflicting your opinions on the world!