Suzanne Carillo

Here is what your clothes are saying to everyone that sees you –

If you are wearing sweats or PJs outside…

People will know you feel like shit. You probably woke up with a headache and cramps and everyone knows that you simply couldn't be bothered with real pants so they should just keep quiet and be happy you haven't yelled at them yet.

If you are wearing a "sporty" baseball cap…

People will know it's not because you're a fan of the "team". If you are a guy you are probably balding or bald and if you are a woman you simply couldn't be bothered to put a comb through your hair or haven't washed it in days. Hat hair is the nicest way of saying, "believe me, you don't want to see this mess".

If you have on yoga pants every day all day…

People will know that you have not in fact come from 2 hours of intense hot yoga. They will know that you are carrying an extra 10 lbs that crept up on you disguised in an extra cookie after supper or a bag of chips at lunch. They will know you can no longer fit into your jeans. Wake up…the yoga pants aren't camouflaging those extra pounds. They are wrapping them in tight Lululemon for everyone to see.

If you are wearing hipster "nerd" glasses…

People will know that you probably prefer Indie bands to mainstream, you live by the 3 R's (reduce, reuse, recycle) and shop exclusively at Etsy or earth conscious companies.

If you are wearing a dress from the 1950's…

People will know that you more than a bit nostalgic, are obsessed with Mad Men and searching out the best vintage shops in town. They will also know that you pay good $ to dress like your Grandma.

If you are wearing the latest greatest items from JCrew…

People will know that you consider yourself an upwardly mobile so-and-so and that you expect to be treated with respect and everything else that goes along with $30 cocktails and $275 polka dot cotton trousers.

If you are wearing a jumpsuit/romper.

People will know that you couldn't be bothered to find a top and a bottom that go together so you just put on a onesie instead.