Have you heard about those corset waist training belts?

You tighten and tighten the belt and it makes you waist whittle away all the while squishing your internal organs into odd places.

Some people swear by them. That is how they claim to achieve the golden hip to waist ratio of 0.7.

You know, 36-26-36 which then became 34-24-34.

Yeah.

This post isn’t about those kind of belts.

 

How To Lose Weight By Wearing A Belt

I’m talking about regular belts. The kind that let people know you still have a waist but you aren’t interested in playing musical chairs with your internal organs.

This outfit is a case of,

“I think I LOVE this look!”

when I see myself in the mirror.

This is what I saw in the mirror before I left the house that morning…

Normal me.

 

Once I returned from a fruitful day of thrifting I decided to take some photos of my outfit. Upon reviewing the photos I realized that somehow the mirror had outright lied to my face.  The outfit added the weight of an entire other person to my frame.

May I introduce you to, “Super Sized Me”.

What the ****!

I hate it when that happens.

Obi belt to the rescue.

 

I should have belted over top of the sweater coat, it would have looked better but I found it too hot.

It’s still really warm here and the dress is polyester. I didn’t need another meno melt down.

I had hopes of keeping this sweater coat but after seeing that it requires belting on me I don’t think I will.

These are curvy body type issues.

If you have a model’s body type look away. You don’t need help.

 

Below is another dress that had the same issues.

I tried it without the belt at first but Normal Me threw a temper tantrum and said Super Sized Me was stealing all her sunshine.

The great thing about this oversized wide belt are those extra little pockets.

Perfect for breath mints, a Loonie or one of those little floss sticks. I eat granola bars in the car on my thrifting days instead of stopping for lunch and I’m always getting little chia seeds stuck in-between my teeth.

Zoë insists the pockets are there for pug treats. Who am I to rob her of her dream?

 

This patchwork dress I rescued was originally from Zara. It reminds me of a Holly Hobbie doll I painted as a kid. Remember those?

 

 

I switched out the bonnet for a floppy hat, the practical work boots for some impractical suede boots and added an oversized belt instead of the apron.

I forgot my long bloomers too.

Ah well.

 

A beltless life is a more comfortable life but forgetting about one’s waist can land you in trouble.

When I was illustrating full time I worked insane hours from home. This was at the same time that I was at chef’s school. I went a couple of years essentially wearing yoga pants and lost my waist entirely. One day I looked in the mirror and it had just… disappeared.

I happened upon a scale while shopping at Costco and in desperation thought it might give me a clue as to wear I’d lost my waist. We didn’t have a home scale at that time. If you haven’t stepped on a scale in over five years do not, I repeat, DO NOT use the one in Costco or any public place for that matter. It ain’t pretty.

At first I thought the scale was broken. I kept getting off and then getting back on. I’d put one toe on it and then make sure it went back to zero. Then I’d get back on again. It was still wrong! Nothing changed that insane number which was clearly someone Punking me!  This is when that phrase “Reality Bites” up and slapped me upside the head. Thirty five pounds had crept onto my body when I wasn’t looking. It sat right where my waist used to be. That was not a fun moment my friends. It wouldn’t be the first time I’ve heard of someone having a mental breakdown at Costco. Needless to say I don’t think I bought many groceries that day.

How did I actually find my waist again? The old fashioned way, exercise and deciding that I probably shouldn’t bake every day. At one point in time during my chef’s school I remember having the choice of five different desserts to choose from in my fridge at home. I had to remember we were just a couple and not a restaurant.

But I digress. Belts are a necessary evil for me. They remind me where my waist should be and keep me in check. They ensure the Normal Me is still the reflection I see in the mirror and camera.

 

Are you a fan of belts? Do you find that they help define your shape? Or have you moved past caring?

 

Linking up with the lovely Patti over at Visible Monday.