Recently I had a girlfriend visiting and we decided to treat ourselves and spend part of the day getting pampered at a local spa. I booked the spa on-line and read clients had reviewed it and given it 8.8 out of 10. I figured that I'd done my research and we should be in for a wonderful relaxing day.
I'd never been to the place before but had stopped by the week before when they had a festival in the town and walked down main street and into a Spa. I figured it must be the same spa I'd booked since it's a small town and I didn't see any other spas. The day of our appointments I drove straight to that spa only to see by the look on the woman's face when we arrived that there were no appointments for us. I had managed to go to the wrong spa. The woman asked me the name of the spa and I couldn't even remember it. She said it might be hard to find where we had booked since there were like 50 spas in the town! I guess Streetsville should be renamed Spasville. I started to panic about not getting in my precious spa time. I was calling every spa. We were walking to all the spas around. They were hidden all over…tucked into people's houses in the basement…into hair salons…everywhere you could imagine. No luck. No one knew where we had booked our appointments. The only solution was to return home and get my original booking off the computer. So we did that and in fact the spa had called and they were waiting for us. Not in the area of town I'd thought, but we drove straight there and were only late by an hour, still time enough for 2 facials and one body massage for my girlfriend. I would have to skip the pedicure I'd wanted so much.
The place seemed nice…a house that had been converted to a business. They had all the equipment like a regular spa. We were scheduled to get our facials together in the same room. Kind of strange but whatever. We got ready and laid on our respective beds. Ours estheticians came in and started our facials. This is where it gets strange. I was asked to answer a series of questions about what I eat. It wasn't enough to say I was vegetarian…I had to say what kind of foods I eat, how many times per day and what weight the serving size was. This went on for a few minutes. Like an exam I didn't study for she didn't seem at all impressed with my answers. After that was over she began to lecture me. I've had many facials and have never had to listen while someone lectured me about how horrible and dirty my skin was. She went on chastising me for about 5 minutes pointing with a large mirror that amplified every crease and imperfection. I felt like crawling under the sheet and out the door. I was hideous…a freak of nature. This woman's other job must have been degradation and humiliation.
At this point she told me that I should be on a regular routine of facials by them…with their products. She continued to say that if I had come today for a facial to relax that was a mistake.
"If you want to relax, get a massage…not a facial" she scolded. Red flags were going up everywhere. This was not going to be fun.
I was told to be still while she proceeded to brush my face with soap and a hard bristle brush. She had long strong nails, long enough to scrape my skin and poke my eyes while she brushed. The soap and brush bristles were going into my eyes and my nostrils. It was like she was brushing a horse.
After this came a sort of slapping of the skin…with her nails and fingers. Up my neck pulling my skin tight and then slapping down on my forehead and face. I thought to myself, what the heck….why am I paying to be tortured?
Lucky for me a break was coming since a cream was applied to open my pores and steam was put on. The steam was put about a half an inch from my face. It was okay to begin with but when they both left the room to let us "bake" for 15 minutes by the time they got back I was red and inflamed. Apparently perfectly prepared for the next step which proved to be the worst of all. Extraction. Not just any extraction…this is super high pain scraping down with force like ice picks. She told me, "it hurts, but that's normal". Ummmm….yeah…not like this. I had tears coming out of my eyes. I was trying to force my body through the bed and out the other side to get away from her fingers that were piercing my face like scalpels. She asked me how I was doing and all I could say was, "well…I'm surviving". This went on for what seemed like an hour but was probably more like 5-10 minutes. I have very sensitive skin, I knew that this was going to leave marks. I figured now I'd made it through that she might put on a soothing aloe vera mask or some ice to make the swelling go down…nope…some light cream was put on and I was told to lay there again for 15 minutes.
When they finally came back and and I was allowed to leave my girlfriend was still laying on her bed waiting for her body massage. I told her on my way out…"that is the worst most painful *&^%ing facial I've ever lived through".
It was a good thing I'd brought a baseball cap along…I needed something to cover the red marks that now covered my face. I looked like a cat had used my face as a scratching post. How happy I was not to have booked in for my pedicure. I probably wouldn't have been able to walk afterwards…it was with the same esthetician…or rather dominatrix.
An hour later I came back to pick up my friend. When I asked her how her massage went she replied, "Well, it's the first time I came out of a massage with a headache and neck ache".
Avoid at all costs La Peau D'or in Streesville. It's really a torture chamber disguised as a spa.