Imagine one day that you woke up in someone else’s body.
When you look in the mirror the image staring back at you is completely foreign.
Now imagine that not only are you someone else you are also a different gender. Instead of being Alice people see you as Al. Instead of being Joe people see you as Joelle.
You’re still you, inside, but you have the wrong packaging entirely.
Imagine no-one in the world really seeing who you are. For the rest of your life being treated differently because you’ve been incorrectly packaged.
How frustrating, difficult and heartbreaking that must be.
I’m writing about this because I had a chance to meet up with a wonderful blogger, Ally in NYC a few days ago.
Ally doesn’t have to imagine this scenario. She has been living it all her life.
The truly wonderful thing about meeting a person is that you are able to look past the packaging and get to know them for who they really are.
First words that come to mind after meeting Ally? Considerate and generous. She worked her schedule around mine so we could meet. She commuted into the city to meet me. She went out of her way at moment’s notice to make it work. She was open to all my suggestions. She made it so easy. She was accommodating. That is a very rare quality.
I kind of knew Ally would be interesting and wonderful to meet because of her blog but after spending over three hours with her I now know I need to step up my game and try to be a better human being. She has inspired me.
One phrase she mentioned during our time together really stuck with me. She said, “I believe everyone deserves understanding and compassion. Everyone.”
I do not always show compassion to everyone. Often times I make judgments about people. I gossip. I’m not mean hearted, but I don’t have the kind of open all forgiving generous heart that Ally does. I wonder if having to live in a world where very few people see her for who she really is makes her more understanding, more open, more accepting? Or is that simply her personality?
I watched a brilliant dramedy series this year called Transparent about a transgender person. It gave me some insight into Ally and all that she must live with daily. If you get a chance to watch it I highly recommend it. The lead actor Jeffrey Tambor won the Golden Globe for his portrayal. This article is a great breakdown on what to expect from the series. Also you can watch the first episode for free on Amazon.
Being transgender doesn’t define all that is Ally. But it does make her a very interesting and unique person. Due to her circumstances she is exposed to secrets from both men and women.
I really feel lucky that I was able to meet Ally during my recent trip to NY.
That photo of the two of us wearing our coats? I asked the hostess to take the photo. Ally was so unassuming and shy I had to call her over to get in the shot. She thought I just wanted the photo of myself! LOL (I’m vain but I’m not Madonna vain!) Ally doesn’t take anything for granted.
I’m leaving you with this last shot of me holding the gorgeous gift Ally gave me…a super chic umbrella from Brooks Brothers. Ally took the photo while we walked through Central Park in the rain.
Blogging provides opportunities to meet people we would never get the chance to interact with otherwise. Hands down that is one of my favourite things about blogging.
Have any bloggers inspired you to try to be a better person lately? What is your favourite thing about blogging?
You described her perfectly. We were lucky to meet as well, and she does make you want to be a better person, right? You two look like you had so much fun!!
We did! It was relaxed and easy.
In answer to your next to the last question, well, I think that would be…YOU, today. And as to the last …I think I would have to agree with you. I too enjoy that blogging does give you a chance to meet people you never would otherwise. Also, the inspiration I get from other bloggers, that’s a big one too.
Ally seems like a very nice person, and I applaud her courage in blogging.
P.S. Love the look and love the umbrella!
Awww…that is so sweet Shani : )
You are on my list of bloggers to meet in Europe.
Come on over!
What a lovely post, you mentioned so many reasons why I never want to quit blogging! It is really a great way to express yourself, but mainly it’s about the people you interact with! Love your coat!!
OMG! Thank you so much for the lovely words. And for understanding me so well. I’m touched you noticed little things during our visit that reflect my personality and nature. You’re a careful observer of humanity.
Meeting you was a joy and, as Rick said at the end of “Casablanca” — “Louie, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.”
I love that line! : )
I do try my best to pay attention. People’s actions often speak much louder than their words ever can.
You’re a great observer and good in really ‘seeing’ a person!
Ally is one of my biggest inspirations, and she’s one of the best friends. Your article about her was beautiful and has me on the verge of tears. You’ve got a beautiful blog and a gorgeous writing style.
Thanks for popping by Meghan : ) I’m glad you like the post since you have been friends so much longer than I.
So cool that you got to meet Ally. Love her inspirational story and now I’m following her blog too!
I’m so excited to meet some of my favorite bloggers (like you!) in Vancouver in July!
OXOX
Dawn Lucy
http://fashionshouldbefun.blogspot.com
I’m very pumped about it Dawn. Be sure to check the updates I’ve added to this page…http://suzannecarillo.com/contact/40-blogger-meet-up-2015/ . I should be sending out an email as well in the next week or so.
How wonderful that you two got to meet, and not just in a superficial “love ya” kind of way. There’s nothing quite like meeting people that make us want to be better. Ally seems like that kind of person. Beautiful pics of you two, and how I wish I were there in the park! xox
Yeah…I like to go straight to the good stuff! ha ha
I don’t know if you would have cared for it Patti…did I mention that it was -6 C or rather 21 F? Mind you, that day it was above freezing…thankfully!
This is an uplifting post. I’d actually just stumbled across Ally’s blog after seeing she’d written a comment on yours and found it an interesting one to read. How great to get to make another blogger connection.
The little crumbs we drop are the comments that we leave at each other’s blogs : )
I <3 Ally SO much!! She's an angel!
I think making unexpected personal connections to bloggers have been the most awesome thing about blogging. I know that most of my relationships are pretty superficial but I know if I met most of them, it would feel like we’ve been friends for a lifetime.
This is a great post and glad that you were able to meet Ally and become real friends for life.
Alice
http://www.happinessatmidlife.com
Well you are on my list of bloggers to meet. I do hope we manage to make that happen.
Wow wonderful that you were able to meet with her!! I know how kind and generous she comes across online, and everyone who gets to meet her in person says the same. 🙂
Thanks so much for popping by Amber : )
No surprises with Ally. She is true to her online presence.
I only recently found Ally’s blog, and I love it. Just by reading her words, you can feel what a warm. wonderful person she is. How great that the two of you got to meet. I have been amazed and delighted at the friendships I’ve made since starting blogging last year, and it has become my favorite thing about it. This is a beautiful post!
I think the brilliant thing is that you get to “meet” and hang out with people that you wouldn’t otherwise. It broadens the mind.
Well hello there! I lost you for a while at your old address, but now we are back!
One of the best things about blogging is having a platform to create on whichever way I take it. It provides an audience for this almost housebound person. I’m a performer at heart, and on the stage when I was younger. And the audience is so rad, performing straight back at me, and building on ideas, back and forth. It’s like having a communal studio and a stage all rolled into one. xo JJ
I never thought of it like that before but it is true. We are entertainers of sorts.
Glad to see you found me again : )
I forgot to say, I love what you have to say about Ally. As a genderqueer person who has a lot to do with trans* people, this means a lot to me.
I fight, and love, and rearrange my personal packaging daily…as do we all!
Aw Suzanne, this is a beautiful post. I’m looking forward to meeting Ally. Your gentle reminder that we can all be better people is duly noted. And if I might just say one thing…I think you are easy to talk to and generous and caring. You inspire me greatly!
“Be kind, for everyone is fighting a battle you know nothing about.”
Awww…thanks Sue. Coming from you that is extra special because you are also super considerate.
I need that quote on my wall.
What a beautiful description of Ally. And how fabulous that two of my favorite blog friends got to meet up…what fun that had to have been!
Debbie
http://www.fashionfairydust.com
You and I must meet this year lady! This summer maybe?
Absolutely! It will be so much fun, how can we not?! Once Spring gets here we can work out a date…I’m planning on having my foot surgery sometime in June so we’ll try to get it set up before that so you don’t have to push me around in a wheelchair…lol!
Debbie
Eeek. Foot surgery. Not fun at all.
The people we meet and the friendships we develop are the best bit about blogging, without a doubt. I’m glad that you and Ally had a lovely time together. xxx
I would say that describes Ally perfectly – I had the chance to meet her this Fall as well and she is seriously one of the most kind hearted, generous, people I have met. She inspires me daily!
So fun you had a chance to meet!
This a really wonderful article. Thank you.
Thanks for popping by Liz.
Popped over here after Ally linked to the post on her blog. You really captured her essence perfectly! She is one of the kindest, most thoughtful people I’ve ever met. I can’t wait to visit NYC again so she and I can meet up as well.
Hello! I am a HUGE fan of Shybiker, and consider myself Ally’s friend, even though we haven’t met yet. I loved reading this post! It looks like you guys had a lot of fun, and these pictures are just awesome.
Thanks for popping by Sara : )
You are insightful and compassionate – the word “compassion” came to mind immediately as I started reading your post. Ally says the truth. Absolutely everyone needs compassion and absolutely everyone deserves it. And no, we all are not always compassionate to others. Because we focus on the wrong thing – on our own hurts, wounds and fears. Fear creates fear. Love creates love. You said it beautifully – you want to become a better person when you meet people who have open heart and compassion in them. Beautiful souls, you two. xxxxx
Hello lovely Suzanne!
What a beautiful post- possibly one of the nicest post-blog friend meetups I have ever read. Ally is one of the kindest,most genuine, intelligent, sensitive and intuitive bloggers I know. She always has something kind to say-and let’s you know her appreciation. Now, I want to meet Ally!x
What a beautiful post, Suzanne. I am so envious since I would love to both visit New York and meet Ally in person. I am quite behind in reading your blog as I had not figured out that you’ve changed/moved it. Thanks to Ally’s link for that!
xoxo
What a great story! I am so inspired. I blog but don’t get out much to meet new people but now I will make sure I work harder at it. Thank you!
I was unsure of meeting bloggers in person until last year. Since then it has increased my joy of blogging a hundredfold.
This is such a wonderful post <3 Ally is a big inspo and amazing person 😀
I am so glad t have read this post.
It sounds like Ally is very special, I, too, hope to meet her one day,
sooner rather than later,
Love your outfit, and the sweet gesture of the umbrella.
This was heartwarming to read,
xx, elle
http://mydailycostume.com/
Im so envious you got to meet 🙂 how awesome. I love your recap of the event and how you are so reflective in sharing your experience so honestly (meaning what you see about yourself). I also love the show Transparent and think its so great they finally have a show that brings more attention to challenges transgender people experience.
I love your blog and just found out about it from Shybiker as well and so cool you are in Vancouver.. I’m just across the water and may be able to make it to the meet up this summer. Thanks for organizing that!!
If you are interested you should sign up for the emails here
http://suzannecarillo.com/contact/40-blogger-meet-up-2015/
It would be great if you could make it! Ally will be there and I’ll be flying in from Toronto.
There are people who really are special , and luckily somethimes it happens that we have the chance to meet them …
This brought a tear to my eye! So humbling.
I can’t wait to meet Ally at your event in Vancouver. She has been so supportive to me, purchasing all sorts of my Society6 stuff.
That sounds just like her : )
Oh! I love this post. It is always a nice reminder to be kind. I, too, sometimes make hasty judgements of people. 99% of the time I am wrong. It is something I have to actively work on.
How lovely that you got to meet up with Ally! And go to NY! Life brings us opportunities at the very best times.
Jenni
I know I’m a bit late, but I finally read this after catching up on all of my favorite blogs and Ally’s directed me to this post. I am touched after reading this post. I feel so many people overlook compassion– life gets so busy it can be challenging to be appreciative of those who are generous enough to do things like completely reschedule their time to accommodate yours. I know I am guilty of overlooking it at times.
Your post makes me want to be a better person… and see that series!
Ally has only commented on my blog once and I was delighted when she did. Embracing each other’s uniqueness, strengths and frailties, without judgement… makes us better human beings. I’d love to meet and connect with her.
You’ll have a chance as she will be in Vancouver : )
So this is the story behind shybiker. I often wondered. I think she looks beautiful. Ally is a very pretty woman. It must be hell to be born in the wrong body. I truly admire her guts and hope she can celebrate life and that people will be kind.
Greetje
Ally is one of my bestest friends. Thank you for being so sensitive in writing this and using the correct pronouns. “Little” things like this post can go such a long way in promoting the understanding and compassion she lacked for so long.
By the way, you look adorable in the umbrella picture especially!!
<3
How fantastic that you and Ally met! That is so wonderful about blogging; it expands your world, if you are open for it.
Very special, that Ally is so compassionate and forgiving. I guess it is a combination of her personality AND being ‘different’. I notice that myself too: being different already makes you more accepting and understanding other people’s differentness, so to speak.
Me, I understand a lot, but I am not forgiving towards everybody. Do me wrong, then beware! Also I changed over the years. When I was young, understanding would also mean forgiving. Nowadays, I may understand, but still find that no excuse for whatever actions.
Re-reading this melts my heart. I wish the world had more compassionate people like you in it.