I'm excited! I got my first honest/rude comment on my blog today. Janelle told me that I was "way too old to be wearing a poodle cardigan from Forever 21". It was from this post that I did almost a year ago.
This got me wondering…does anyone ever comment on a blog saying "You're way too young to be wearing that?" I want to leave a comment like that just to see how someone responds.
It is easy to get caught up in compliments and adoration from fashion blogging. When I first started reading fashion blogs it kind of turned me off because it felt like too much of a "love fest". It didn't seem real. Sometimes the real world sucks. Sometimes people say nasty things. Sometimes people call you pregnant when you're not. (It took me a long time to get over that one and it's happened not once, but twice, once when I was 20 and then again when I was 24).
Quite a few bloggers put right on their comment forms that they only want "positive feedback". I was on the fence about this. I mean, if you can't take any criticism then how can you ever improve? Then again style is subjective and personal so who is to say that they are right? What makes their opinion more valuable than my own? Maybe the saying that my Mom told me, "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all" is the best route to take. I don't go out of my way to comment if I'm not keen on an outfit. I will however, go out of my way to comment when I really like an outfit.
When a critique is personal about your body, your age, etc I don't know that it is doing anyone any favours. There are certain things we can't change after all. There are certain things people don't want to change. The world would be a very dull place if we all looked exactly the same and dressed exactly the same.
I knew that going into fashion blogging that I would expose myself to comments that I wouldn't like and would have to deal with. Maybe Janelle is right. Maybe she isn't. It is pretty subjective to decide that a cardigan with poodles on it can't be worn by someone because they are seen as being "too old". Maybe she thought she was doing me a favour to save me from further ridicule. I guess the real question is do I care that Janelle thinks I'm too old to wear it? Will it stop me from wearing this cardigan in the future?
Do I appreciate that she took the time to write on my blog to tell me her opinion?
I wish I could return the favour and comment with equal honesty on her choices.
What are your feeling about honest/blunt critiques?
Bella Q, The Citizen Rosebud says
Since I’m a blunt person by temperment- I have got no problem with blunt and honest comments. But no tolerance for rude- and there is a big difference. The love fest is a bit much, especially when the outfit isn’t so great or flattering- I mean a true friend wants you to look your best so they shouldn’t praise something unflattering. But no need to tear down, insult or otherwise cloud up something someone posted. That is just hateful and there is nothing constructive about it.
I think one reason I’m hooked on Shamepuff is because there is such honesty to the meanness- often saying things we all think but never say. Granted I wouldn’t be so mean about it but its healthy to hear all voices and opinions, not just the ones you agree with.
But as my mama once told me: advice is a good as what you paid for it. So Janelle who thinks you’re too old to rock a poodle skirt: thanks for nothing.
Ha ha ha, I just LOVE this post! HONESTLY, I think you look fabulous in that cardigan and are NOT too old to be wearing it. There is such a difference between mean comments and constructive criticism. I’m okay with people saying that they would wear a different purse with my outfit, but I’m not okay with someone being mean or personally attacking me. Everyone has different tastes and styles, however, I do wholly believe that if you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say it at all. I agree that there is definitely a lot of love out there in comments, but I think that’s great! Why not encourage and support each other? I would never lie and say something is great when it’s not, but I will definitely find something in the outfit I love and comment on that. Fashion blogs are meant to be full of fun and fantasy, so why not make it a happy place!?
Eeek! I just spent 30 minutes reading stuff on Shamepuff. I didn’t know that existed. Certainly no love fest there.
I agree it’s important to hear all voices, even ones that we might not agree with, hence why I bothered to comment on the remark at all, since it did make me stop and think.
I love the quote from your Mom : ) That made me smile.
Thanks for commenting Bella. You have a style that really stays true to yourself and your beliefs which is hard to achieve in today’s over-commercialized homogenous blogosphere.
I’m like you. I always try to find something in the outfit or photo that I like, and when I can’t…well I simply don’t comment. Who am I to say that it’s not great in the first place anyhow?
I thought that it was funny that she chose that post since I’ve worn pleather pants and other stuff that would have set myself up for way more criticism than a cardigan. LOL
Thanks for commenting Jenny.
I have been criticized for my style too! I know that I am different than most bloggers and that my style is not for everyone but I think that is the point of blogging. I would be super sad if I had to look at blogs where everyone dressed the same! Boring!!! I love that You are You and that you totally rock the clothes that you wear! I personally always comment on the things I like on a blog! Keep up the great looks! 🙂
Yikes! What a nasty person! You don’t have to leave “love fest” comments on a person’s page, especially if you’re not feeling the outfit. But I tend to have a positive outlook at all times. I would never go onto someone’s blog and take time out of my day to say something negative or hurtful. If I’m not feeling the outfit, maybe I like the hair, or shoes, or even their smile. If that person feels confident in their outfit choice, who am I to say anything different? While I have yet to receive a nasty comment, I hope that when I do I can take it with as much class as you did. And just to let you know, I would wear a poodle printed sweater at any age!
Southern (California) Belle
P.S. Shamepuff is definitely addicting!
I think if she was giving you her honest opinion, and not just saying something to be rude, it’s ok. However, I actually like that sweater on you. I hate all these man-made rules people make about clothing and age.
When I see your posts Rebecca they are so magical, like I’ve been taken to a Fantasyland of fashion. You put the most work into your outfits through layer upon layer of details and it really shows. It doesn’t take imagination or creativity to be boring. I can always find something I love when I look at your outfits.
Thanks for commenting.
I agree, who are we to judge what is right and what is wrong? Sometimes I look at people and am envious that they have the guts to go out and rock that outfit even though I wouldn’t dare even think about walking around looking like that. It’s so very personal. It is a representation of who you are as a person, a way to communicate without opening your mouth.
Thanks for commenting Ashely.
I so agree that fashion rules are basically for fools ; P If you have the confidence you can wear whatever you like, no matter your age. Look at Betsy Johnson, she breaks every single rule in one outfit and is still rockin’ it at 70. I can only hope to look as good as her and have as much energy and vitality at her age.
Val Sparkle says
I know what you mean about the love fest, but it’s kind of nice and encouraging. If you want to give advice, you can suggest how you’d do it differently. But I disagree that you’re too old for that sweater, and I don’t think that advice was constructive. This isn’t the era of Ethel Mertz and Aunt Bea wearing frumpy old dresses and support hose!
Suzanne, first of all I think its so great that you talk about that issue on here. I mean, what right does she have to tell you, that you are too old for a poddle cardigan, comon? That is just so rude and ridiculous. If she wouldnt like the pattern or fabric thats ok but beeing that personal is just so wrong. Fashion styles and tastes can distingish and that is the best part as its so inspirational. There is such a huge difference between rude/mean comments or comments that are constructive as it might widen your horizons. And how boring would it be if everybody would dressed the same or like the same fashion items. I enjoy your style, its so individual and so you Susanne and nobody should ever talk you out of that. I am a very honest person too and sometimes too honest, so if I dont like a look at all, I just dont comment on it or I find things that I reall like about an outfit.
Have yourself a wonderful happy new Year and I cant wait to see more of your inspirational posts next year. Thank you for beeing such a great blogger friend.
You are a lovely person. I am so glad that I “bumped” into you here online : ) Have a wonderful New Year!
Ha ha! Aunt Bea : ) Love it. Thanks for commenting Val.