Aliens Stole My Groceries – No Joke
The last time I went grocery shopping was quite the experience. I should have known something was off when the guy walking in front of me let out the longest and loudest non stop elephant farts with total disregard for those around him. He just kept walking and farting.
GROSS!
I quickly changed direction and decided it was just a glitch in the system of Canadian politeness.
I proceeded to fill my grocery cart and was delighted when I scored the last bottle of Vanilla Kefir. That stuff is never in stock.
I noticed that I had forgotten to buy lightbulbs so rather than taking my full cart back to that aisle on the other side of the store I do what I often do, I left the cart at the end aisle and took two minutes to go and pick up the lightbulbs.
Wasn’t I surprised when literally a couple of minutes later when I returned to pick up my cart, it was gone.
Initially I thought I must have remembered incorrectly and started looking all over for my full cart of groceries which also contained my green bins and reusable fruit bags.
And, ah, yeah…no cart.
At that point I thought that some of the dairy guys might be punking me. I asked if they had seen or moved my cart.
Nope.
Which was odd since it had only been a few feet away from them.
I explained what had happened and a lady working there helped me look through the store for my missing groceries and cart.
I mean really…who the HELL steals a cart full of groceries?
With my Kefir?
Were they just too damn lazy to go and pick out their own groceries? They figured they’d just take all of mine?
After looking through the store for about 15 minutes me and the other lady had no luck at all finding my missing groceries. The entire cart has just vanished into thin air.
Apparently it had been taken by space aliens in need of green bins and fresh veg.
Frustrated I headed back to get a new cart and start my grocery shopping all over again san green bins and environmentally friendly fruit bags.
At least I didn’t need to head back to the lightbulb aisle. That was the only thing they didn’t get.
I might add that to add insult to injury while I was picking out my groceries for the second time a woman clipped me with her cart.
Not my cart…me. She didn’t even say sorry!!! She wasn’t looking where she was going and she clipped me as I was passing. She didn’t even acknowledge it. She just continued on her way. Forget the idea of Canadians being polite.
I was NOT happy.
The only reason I didn’t throw my hands up in the air kick, that lady in the shins and run out of that damn store right then and there was because I had no food in the house.
Since when did buying groceries become such an ordeal?
So to the alien or person that took my groceries that day…I hope that last bottle of Kefir was off and you spent three days in the bathroom.
And yeah…my photos have nothing at all to do with this story. This is just a lovely vintage maxi dress I picked up while thrifting at Goodwill.
It was missing the elastic around the neckline and was really impossible to tell what it would look like once mended.
I haven’t replaced an elastic before but I figured it couldn’t be as difficult as grocery shopping so I bought it.
I was right!
Look how proud I am of myself and my beginner sewing skills.
Have you ever had someone else steal your cart full of groceries? Or been hit by another shopper with their cart?
I realize this is the second story about a shopping cart in a week. Seems to be a trend…
Linking up with Patti over at Visible Monday Visible Monday.
That is the craziest grocery story ever, Suzanne! And it happened in Canada??? My faith in Canadian politeness has been completely jostled!
I do have to point out, however, that if the man who farted did that in the US, there’s a good chance someone would have called him on it, even if it was just to say “Duuuuuude!” and wave a hand in front of their nose in grandiose fashion. You, however, politely took your soon-to-be-stolen cart and went elsewhere, putting a safe distance between you and the offensive gas without embarrassing the man who created it. So…you restore my faith in Canadian politeness. 🙂
It is THE COOLEST that you fixed the elastic on your dress. And the dress, of course, is simply divine on you. That color is really Your Color. You are like the living embodiment of A Midsummer’s Night Dream in that dress–all life and poetry and love and summer.
Here’s hoping your week gets better and people of Canada start behaving themselves again.
Hugs,
Sherry
Well believe me I made some serious faces behind that guy’s back! Ha ha! I am Canadian hear me roar!!!
That’s a stunning dress, looks super on you with the hat and booties, that’s hard luck in the store, drives you mad sometimes eh? Jacqui
http://www.mummabstylish.com
Wow, I thought shoppers int he US were rude. I shall have to reconsider EVERYTHING about your otherwise charming country. Glad you weren’t seriously hurt. Love, love the maxi dress, + hat and boots. xox
-Patti
http://notdeadyetstyle.com
LOLOLOL.
My nose was offended but I got over it.
Well done you and the neckline sewing! You give me confidence as I have no sewing skills whatsoever but there are some sewing things I need to tackle; I can’t keep putting them off… the maxi dress is beautiful and you look lovely in it.
As for the missing grocery cart – how weird is that? I can only concur that it must aliens with a penchant for kefir!
Those aliens really know the good stuff.
Yes, some small sewing bits I can handle. It wasn’t as hard as I thought it’d be.
Wow, and this after your bad experience at the thrift-store. Sorry to hear. Perhaps Canadian politeness excludes Toronto since it’s the least Canadian city in your country. BTW I love kefir and am happy to hear you do too.
Hahahaha! Toronto IS the least Canadian city.
I will have some kefir on hand when you come to visit : ) No matter who I have to fight for it.
Okay–now it’s true that it’s totally rude for someone to do this.
But I have to giggle a little and think that haven’t you learned not to leave your cart yet?? I mean, I do it all the time, so I’m not saying you’re doing anything unusual. Except that everyone seems to love what you pick out everywhere you go!!
Maybe you need to take Zoe, so she’ll be your cart guard dog??
And kudos on the sewing job!! It looks absolutely fantastic!
And thanks for the laugh—you really know how to keep me smiling!
Jodie
http://www.jtouchofstyle.com
I knew I was going to get this comment. I am terrible about taking carts around with me. I really dislike them. I find I can get things done twice as fast if I’m without a cart. That said, this time of course proved me wrong.
I think Zoë would attract the thieves. In fact if she were in the cart I for sure wouldn’t leave it. She loves everyone would head off quickly with the first person to offer her food.
Now that is a first for me! Never heard of a full shopping cart completely disappearing. Sounds like someone else had a nefarious plan to acquire that particular bottle of Kefir. If I were you, I might have given up and gone home with no groceries.
Believe me…I came so very close to doing just that.
Dang!! Your stories are just the best! You tell them so well and so humorously.
I’m SO sorry about your recent cart tragedies! Although, the first one was a case of you making lemonade!! You created a happy ending. This latest one is downright creepy!
On another note I follow the Style Crone and I was so happy and not surprised that you scored a meetup with her!!! She is one of the most elegant women I’ve ever seen!! You looked so happy and very stylish in your denim trenchcoat and funky leopard hat.
Maybe the universe was just doing some equalizing of fortunes when your grocery cart was sucked into a black hole?!
Judith was such a treat to meet in person.
That shopping cart story will be retold time and time again like the story about the old woman I lived with…
http://suzannecarillo.com/nightmare-septuagenarian-amazon-carries-a-big-stick-sleeps-with-a-sword/
I have quite a few good stories like that. I should really take some time to write about them. The older I get the more faded my memories become.
I wasn’t following anyone back in 2014 when you originally shared this creepy story. I had already read it however. Can’t remember when or how…
You really should write a memoir (?). I read all of the comments as well and I see Greetje encouraged you to do a novel. I think you should consult Sherry about doing something like a book of short stories (?)
I think this was far worse than the aliens stealing your shopping cart. Good grief girl! Watch out for the boogie man too!
I need to add write a book to my to-do list. #nevergonnahappen
If I just keep writing stories on my blog that might work though. Then just put them altogether in a book and millions. Hahahahahaha! I have the same chances of being a successful author as aliens coming down and stealing my groceries as that happening. Oh wait…the aliens did take my groceries. Ha!
That’s so weird! I’ve never had my groceries stolen, but I have been hit by a cart. Obviously someone loved your taste in food :)!
What is it with people hitting other people with their carts? Do people need to get grocery cart licenses and go through training?
What’s going on over there? Body clipping? Farting? Cart disappearances? It’s a conspiracy. No, it’s like that Stephen King-based movie, The Mist. Your supermarket has been sucked by another dimension that thrives on such things. Eeeew. Be glad you got out of there when you did. I’m always paranoid about my cart. I see people eyeing my dill pickles and don’t let down my guard for a second!
I’d be coming after your dill pickles. Ha! I mean why go through the whole store and pick out my own groceries when I can just steal someone else’s?
What a story. As if the farting wasn’t enough! I keep wondering what happened to your cart. Whoever stole it must have been after that last bottle of Kefir too! Are we about to be invaded by Kefir-loving aliens? You did a good job on that neckline. I have no sewing skills but have no problem tackling projects like that, unprofessionally, but usually successfully, give or take the odd little disaster … xxx
I was waiting for you to come up with the punchline Suzanne – like they found it in the gents with the farting guy!!!! Anyway, I think i have to agree with Jodie that Zoe comes along to guard your purchases next time.
The maxi is gorgeous, but I can’t believe you don’t sew. All those diy projects made me think you’re all singing, all dancing on the mending and creating front. There’ll be no stopping you now!
Anna x
http://www.annasislandstyle.com
So you thought I was Julie Andrews? Turning my drapes into 10 different outfits for the hoard of kids I look after all the while singing “Do-re-mi”. Hahahahahaha! NOT.
More like me swearing while my pug snores at my feet while I struggle to create a hem that wiggles less than Joan from Mad Men.
I’ve never had anyone steal my shopping cart….how bizarre! I’ve been attacked by carts. I have a big scar on my ankle from when I was a kid and someone rammed me. The thing that ruins supermarket trips for me is people on phones. Twice today someone blocked an aisle, completely oblivious.
That is awful! What the heck happened? Here that would be considered a criminal offence causing bodily harm.
Yes, people do seem to just stop in the middle of the aisles with their phones like they own the place. When I’m grocery shopping I’m there with a mission, to get in and out of there as fast as physically possible. The only time I’m on my phone is when I’m waiting in line to pay.
Oh and I forgot to say, the dress and hat is to die for! You look magnificent in green.
How odd! Maybe someone mistook it for their own? But how rude to be clipped without apology. I’m very British and can’t help saying “sorry” if I’m even within a metre of another person in the supermarket. X
Very strange. I must admit I had to Google kefir, I thought it was some foreign liquor I needed to try. I’m glad Jon does the bulk of the food shopping, supermarkets seem to bring out the worst in humanity.
That dress is fabulous. Well done for fixing the neckline. You look gorgeous. xxx
Ha ha! I didn’t know what Kefir was until a year ago either. Now I’m addicted.
No…no more booze for me. Can you believe I’m allergic? Some kind of a sick joke the universe is playing on me.
I’ve only been witness to a few public farting incidents. All of them in an art museum I used to do security at. I think the relaxed, quiet atmosphere just made people feel at ease… anuses and all…
And seriously, cart stealing is one of my biggest fears for some weird reason.
Okay that is a bit of a weird fear…unless you adorable kids are in it. Then I can see why you’d be afraid.
At an art museum? Nice. (eye rolling)
ohhh, I was used to think that canadians were extremously polite people!, now I don’t know what to think!, mwhaha. Public farting!!!
To steal a whole shopping cart is kinda excessive, but I’ve watched some people stealing products from another people’s carts, oh yes. That’s not really bad!. Sometimes products are stolen after they were paid, particularly when the owner is putting their groceries into a bag. Supermarkets are like a jungle!
I love your Green dress, such a fabulous piece! Gorgeous!
besos
Okay stealing after an item has been paid for is worse. Much worse.
Yeah…turns out not all Canadians have passed their public etiquette classes apparently.
Suzanne, that maxi! Oh my. What a great find. Glad you were able to fix. That beauty deserves to have many more outings.
Such strange incidents in the supermarket. Maybe the gaseous guy thought he was in a Bikram yoga class. And I leave my cart all the time to run and get something, so far no one has touched it. I never occurred to me that someone would prefer to pay for someone else’s food choices because they’re just too lazy to get their own stuff. That’s just crazy. As far as the woman who bumped into you without an apology. Well, that seems to be an unfortunate recurring trend these days. I call it the zombification of society. Seems like more and more people are charging through life in a dazed, hypnotic state, completely oblivious to anyone and anything around them.
Tis true that so many people are just stumbling through life with their eyes constantly glued to a smart phone or just simply oblivious to the rest of the world around them. Trying to pay attention and be in the moment is a real skill nowadays.
Wow! I hope you keep that dress, it looks amazing with your coloring. Sorry to hear about your groceries. I would have insisted that they get on the loudspeaker and make an announcement. My 20 year old, self righteous self would have probably grabbed one of their phones and done it myself.
That would have been a great idea! I wish I’d thought of that. : )
This happened once to my husband and me when we shopped at one of those huge hardware stores like Lowes. We’d spent a half hour carefully picking out a variety of hardware and garden stuff then left it alone for some reason I forget. The cart disappeared and I went looking all around the store, the checkout aisles…no! We were so frustrated we just went home. The idea of walking around the store again was too much.
How frustrating! I don’t know what evil gnome is going around stealing other people’s carts.
That is so strange that someone stole your cart- I guess they just happened to need all of the groceries you were getting, and didn’t want to have to go around getting the items themselves? That’s too bad about your bins though- maybe they just wanted the bins.
On a different note, that’s a gorgeous dress! I’m so glad you were able to mend it and save it.
-Nicole
Yes this dress deserved to be saved for sure. I feel like a garden fairy when I wear it and that’s a good thing.
Suzanne: Important note to self – NEVER leave your shopping cart unattended no matter where you are! I’ve never had anyone steal my cart – perhaps this is a new thing now? Your outfit is absolutely gorgeous. Good on you for fixing the neck.
Stealing a full cart with groceries. Hmmm sounds very odd to me. I couldn’t have been that an employee thought it had been abandoned by somebody who saw (too late) he or she didn’t have enough money? Or forgot their purse and put the cart safely behind the employee doors?
I have never experienced such a thing. I have heard a funny story from a man who, waiting in line to enter the supermarket early in the morning, was poked in the bottom by a woman behind him, But you need to hear the Amsterdam accent with which he asked her whether she was in desperate need of a date.
As for your dress, kudos for your sewing skills and I think it is a dream dress. Very romantic.
Greetje
Oh dear, Suzanne, what a time you had! Sadly, these people are everywhere…but your photos on this post are absolutely beautiful, full of poise, calm and all things classy. xx