Can you still wear cute dresses over 40?
Good question.
Can you still be wild and crazy over 40?
Tsk tsk.
Can you still have sex over 40?
Oh my.
Can you still wear bikinis over 40?
Have you no shame?
Can you still be spontaneous, daring and provocative after 40?
You’re too old, stop trying so hard!
Can you still wear ripped jeans, long hair, short skirts, graphic tees, bright red lipstick, strapless dresses, funky shoes, low cut tops and tight clothing over 40?
Hell yeah.
Needless to say the whole idea of “age appropriate dressing” needs to be changed to “personal taste, occasion and body type appropriate dressing.”
Because I choose to dress this way does that mean I’m “incapable of elegance?” as was previously suggested? Or that I’m trying to dress younger than my age?
No.
It means I liked the dress, it fit well, I feel good in it and it helps communicate who I am as a person.
To be clear, I’m wearing the dress. I’m not asking you to wear it.
Do I think that with aging should come a certain amount of elegance and sophistication in how you dress and choose to present yourself?
If that is your thing, then go for it.
After I turned 40 my personality didn’t suddenly change. I didn’t wake up thinking I needed to fit into a certain ideal of homogenized, mature, graceful woman.
I was the same person.
Still am.
Speaking of grace…how does one go about aging “Gracefully”? Just what does that mean? Grace like so many other traits is subjective.
As one ages we’re supposed to feel more comfortable in our own skin.
I was comfortable in my skin when I was 20.
I’ve never had an issue with that.
Am I happy my skin is starting to show its age?
No.
Will I accept it?
It’s the only skin I’ve got. Not really much of a choice there.
I’ve learned there are things far worse in life than having a few wrinkles and age spots.
As we age we’re supposed to get wiser.
Sure I know now that it isn’t a good idea to drink a half bottle of Vodka on my own.
Big deal.
Now that I’m 48 and not 18 do I know the meaning of life?
Ah… no.
From what I’ve learned I shouldn’t expect to know it when I’m 80 either.
I knew as much about the meaning of life when I was 20 as I do now.
If you know the secret please share. Me and 7.1 billion other people would like to know.
Aging isn’t all about wearing certain things or behaving in a specific way.
It’s about accepting that this is your life. No one else’s. You live it. You make your own choices. You take responsibility. You suffer the consequences.
What you achieve, how you act, what you do and what you wear is up to you.
And if that includes a cute dress with cats on it…so-be-it.
What are your feelings about this?
Linking up with the lovely Patti for Visible Monday.
Oh good God Suzanne, I am getting so old, it will be impossible *not* to dress younger than my age. I love everything about your style, especially because it is so you. Thanks for sharing with Visible Monday, xo.
This is a great post, very well said! This dress is so adorable on you and I think it’s all about what you feel good in and what suits you, it’s too bad so many people think after 40 you have to conform to a certain style.
Marta
http://www.sweatersstripesandsweets.com
Could this be my favourite post to date?
Maybe.
Thank you for spelling it out, plain and simple, in black and white {and red}. You look awesome, you ARE awesome!
Great post cutie pie! And what a wonderful outfit!
Right on Suzanne! My feelings? I’ve shared this on my blog … If I like it–I wear it! Fashion is fun! Wear whatever makes you happy! Body type is more important than age, it you want something to look flattering. But even then, I think everyone should wear what they like and makes them feel good. Clothes are an expression of our taste and we are all unique. I don’t like everyone’s taste and I’m sure not everyone likes mine, but that’s fine. 🙂
I made a little collage for International Women’s Day of some of the women I admire and inspire me! I hope you like the photo I chose of you.
Thank you for being part of my blogging adventure!!
♥ carmen
I think what you said about not waking up on your birthday at forty a totally different person is at the heart of this. We should dress for us- however little or much that changes in terms of body, confidence, tastes, and what one does in the day-to-day. I love what you wear- I don’t think about your age; I think about you and that’s what a good sartorial outfit does. It says something about the person 🙂
Couldn’t agree more Kristian : )
I’ve never understood why people like the idea of suddenly dressing the part of a stereotype the moment they hit 40, or 30, or whatever. I totally agree with you! Dress how you want to dress, period. I also don’t get why people think wearing a particular thing suggests that one is trying to pretend one is young/dressing like our daughters/trying too hard. The whole idea is preposterous. Take no notice. I certainly don’t. And TBH I had not even considered the idea that one can’t wear a cute dress after a certain age. I am 50 and I wear cut dresses all the time. Not planning to stop any time soon.
Hooray!
You said it so well Suzanne – it’s all about being comfortable of who you are. I have always been a very self conscious person and have dressed to blend and not stand out. As I am older and maybe read more blogs of women of all age & sizes, I am learning to be happy with who I am at whatever size that may be.
I adore this outfit and will wear it in a heart beat.
Alice
http://www.happinessatmidlife.com
It is funny that you normally dress to blend in since your current colourful choices would make you stand out…and for all the right reasons.
So I think there must be something wrong with me. I can’t see the issue with this dress. It looks perfectly normal to me…for any age.
I still wear shorts, but I wear less tight clothes because my tummy is now lumpy. I don’t show my midriff but I do show my arms. It’s just personal choice, and if you feel great you will pull it off! 🙂 xo Jazzy Jack
I agree that self confidence is very important and often the deciding factor in what I choose to wear on any given day.
This post is perfect, and I say AMEN to every single word. I’ll be 48 in a few months, and I have to admit that I’m still working on being comfortable in my own skin. It’s sad that “words” from my teens can still affect me all these years later, but I’m determined to overcome!
You need to let go of that baggage Lana. Carrying it around for 30 some years is 30 some years too long. It must be so horribly heavy now.
If grace means not dribbling my coffee down my chin and my top because I tip the cup too soon, then I guess I’ll never be graceful. And I’ll never be graceful when trying to untangle my sequins from a muppet roadkill coat. Wise? Yeah, wise enough to have napkins at hand and try not to wear tops with sequins on the back. I agree with your reasoned assessment of these unreasonable expectations, Suzanne. Great post!
Can’t you please ask me to wear that dress? It’s awesome. I hope you’re wearing a bikini under it, have a bottle of vodka in your pocket and combust into spontaneous wild sex, in an elegant way, with your amour.
Ha ha! I thought I was the only one that dribbled! (thank heavens I only drink water!)
BTW…I did all those things you suggested and then had to have a nap. LOL
As a woman with a wardrobe nearly made up entirely of cute dresses, I would hate to think that in just over 4 years time I’ll have to get rid of them all and start wearing beige trousers.
It’s crazy really, isn’t it?
I wonder if it’s jealousy over confidence and non-conformity that is at the root of all this?
Anyway, great post! And that’s a seriously cute skirt on you x
I’d HATE to see you give up those dresses!
I hear you! I am still the person I was 20 years ago, with more experience of course. I still dress the same way, with better taste in clothing I hope but my style has always been the same. If I don’t wear shorts much, it is not because I think it is not appropriate but because my thighs do not.. maybe after a few squats I feel better about the idea but never due to age. What’s important I feel confident and comfortable in what I am wearing. I have been bitched many times on my choice of dressing or style and I don’t give a toss about it. You go, girl.. that dress looks hot on you!
I really have NO idea what the big deal is about 40! Or any other age, come to that. Cute dress, you look good, and that’s that! xxx
I agree that what’s important is to dress for your body type and your own tastes, no matter what age. There are several mature style icons who prove that Style is truly Ageless – Lauren Hutton, Linda Rodin, Ines de la Fressange, and many more! Thanks for the great post and love the dress!
Come on over and link up with my new fashion link up SHOE AND TELL.
Cherie
http://www.stylenudge.com
This is an excellent post Suzanne, and I would say “hell yes” to all of the points you make. I don’t see anything about this dress that would make anyone think a woman over 40 would wear it, but you’ve seen some of the stuff I wear. I don’t know that I’ve ever worn cute dresses, so it’s not something I would start to do now. I am all about the “personal taste, occasion, and body type” as criteria for what I wear. There are definitely some things I wore even into my 30’s that I would not do now because my body has changed shape ( I do miss my wide leg raver pants though….)
I wasn’t comfortable in my own skin at 20, and I would say that while most of my interests and passions are the same as when I was younger, I’m not the same person I was 30 or even 20 years ago, and I’m happy about that.
I think it is impossible to be the same person. Experience has a way of changing people.
I don’t “feel” like the wise person I always thought I’d be though at this age. I had an expectation of knowing so much more. The important things.
I see some pictures of me when I was younger and I look super frumpy. I was thinner but dressed older. I think I was just not very happy with my life then and it reflected in the way I presented myself. Now, I don’t present myself, I just am who I am, to paraphrase Popeye. I see other pictures of me younger, in happier times and I recognize that I dress a lot like I did then, ways that seemed a little out there. I’m a plus size almost 49 year old wearing knee-high boots, leggings a t-shirt and a kimono today. I dress awesome! Life is too short not to where what you want.
I LOVE the sounds of your outfit!
No, of course you can’t! Once you hit 40 you balloon in weight, stop having sex, watch TV soaps and hang around waiting to die…at least that’s what I thought when I was 22 and I had a chip on my shoulder the size of a hippopotamus.
Obviously now I’ve got one foot in the grave I think differently. I know women over 40 are the sexiest creatures on earth (and judging by the number of inappropriate messages I get on Facebook, I’m not alone), we look great in bikinis and can wear whatever the hell we like as long as we’re happy.
Anyone who tells you otherwise is jealous. xxx
PS You look gorgeous!
Ha ha! I thought that all happened when you turned 30! Can you imagine? 30? In fact I always stated I didn’t think I’d live past 35. Good Lord I was naive.
I have to be perfectly honest. As someone who has just entered into her 60th decade. I do sometimes worry about looking like an aging toddler. I like cute dresses but sometimes I think of Betty Davis in “Whatever Happened to Baby Jane.” I really don’t care what people think. I just don’t want to scare small children.
LOL…an aging toddler! LOL That cracks me up.
Small children would think you are the Tooth Fairy or something ; P
I love this dress on you – you look awesome! I love your writing, your thoughts and your rebellious spirit! Bravo! I actually changed since I was 20 – I’ve lightened up, I am a happier self than back in my 20s, and I’m not stopping here. Life is an ongoing adventure – sure, there is always room for both doing what we did 20 years ago, and what we did not do 20 years ago. Let’s just live. 🙂 xxxx
Live and let live : )
bellissima tu e il tuo outfit a presto cara
lately, your posts have spawned so much conversation on my end!
To spew my opinion, I do think some level of “sophistication” comes with being older but I think that varies with each individual. I actually think what I mean is “refinement.” As we become older, I truly believe we become stronger versions of ourselves from our younger years. I’ve always had a creative spirit so I’ll always enjoy patterns and color. But, I think I have a stronger “eye” when it comes to combinations. Plus, trends constantly trend so I rely on a mix of things I love (despite the trends) and things that are classic to create “my style.” Dressing for your age is only what you make it. I don’t think we have to be dowdy as we become older. I think being respectful is far more important than trying to dress a certain age. =)
xo,
nancy
Suzanne
Can I get an ” Amen!” Can I get a “Halleluija’! Can I get a “Hell ya!” I agree with everything you said. Perhaps it is because I have become wiser…. ahaa! I too, will wear short skirts, form fitting dresses ( have some for spring) and whatever makes me comfortable and expresses myself. I am with you!!
Love the polka dots and the flirty skirt. I still wear a bikini, and also beleive that it is whatever make oneself happy ..
from the link up, please stop by, jess xx
http://www.elegantlydressedandstylish.com/
I do love your style Jess.
You look incredible!!! And I love your answers to every one of those questions. I am getting tired of being asked what do I think of age appropriate, how do I feel about aging etc. Let’s talk about living and being full of life and piss and vinegar as they say. Bravo for rocking that dress and being so cool with it. I want people to ask me about who I am, I am not just my age.
Accidental Icon
http://www.accidentalicon.com
I love your style. You are true to yourself and I love that your personality always shines through in what you wear. I’m with you that there really should not be anything that has to be excluded because we are over 40. If it makes you happy/comfortable then you should wear it. So there. 🙂
I sincerely hope so or I am going to have a problem in about 6 years! I will have to chuck most of my wardrobe!x
You look gorgeous-SUCH an amazing combination or top and skirt!x
It’s actually a dress if you can believe it : )
Funny you should ask.
but first, LOVE that last shot of you seated in the aqua chair, looking stunning the red top and striped skirt.!!
You looked wonderful, and appropriate in all of the shots!
You have good taste and are eclectic, embrace it, it makes your outfits better!
I hope all of those things do apply to um, say after 56….
because I do all of those things. The only trend I can not do is cut off denim shorts… not short ones, anyway.
I actually feel better now that in my forties…
Great post!
xx, Elle
http://mydailycostume.com
Bravo Suzzane; this is an excellent post! You always look amazing and confident and like your gorgeous self. Did someone actually tell you that you should dress differently? Did someone actually say you are not elegant enough? Clearly an idiot. Obviously jealous. I agree with you completely that it is about personal style and taste, after that perhaps appropriateness for the occasion and body type. I recently read somewhere that women over forty should not wear flat soled mary-jane style shoes. It is apparently creepy. Creepy? Then I will happily be creepy. I do not dress the same way you do but I always admire what you are wearing because it suits you. It suits your body and your personality. You have a gorgeous figure and you always look sexy in a classy way. Some outfits are more about fun and frivolity and have a touch of girlishness and others I would very much call elegant. Some are casually stylish. To me you are not someone telling others how to dress or saying they should dress like you, you are someone offering up your example, your experience and wisdom and sharing how you achieve your style. You are a role model and I enjoy it all even though you and I would not often wear each other’s clothes. xoxo
This is the first time I’m reading about the Mary Jane shoes. They are the only kind I can wear without walking out of them! Am I to be relegated to running shoes and boots the rest of my life???
I agree it is wonderful to see how others choose to dress and sometimes we may subconsciously get a bit of inspiration for interpreting it in our own way. You and I have such different styles but I can still appreciate and admire your great ability to layer.
I wear what I love. Enough said. Great post.
Who in hell said you were incapable of elegance?
Life is too short to follow “rules”. As an Image Consultant, I was trained to, and taught the “rules”.
I immediately set out to break them…all in the chicest way I could find.
Life is too short for that garbage.
BTW…I’ll split that Vodka with you…just to save you the headache:)
You look creative, fun and vibrant. What else could anyone hope to achieve?
xoxo
Ha ha. I did a style interview once for 40+ style and that was one of the comments left. If you click through on the link you can see exactly what she wrote about me. And yeah…it burned me.
I’m happy to hear that my outfit did everything it set out to do though …creative fun and vibrant is exactly what I was going for : )
This is a great post and a topic that is on a lot of peoples’ minds. I have struggles with what the rules say I should do and what my personality crooks its finger at and usually my personality wins! I love your dress and I love how your personality shines through! Peace! Cheryl
I’m with you on this. I think it’s all about dressing for yourself, and that’s something I’ve definitely learned to embrace through blogging. The rules about what to wear depending on your age, hair color, complexion, body type, etc. get so exhausting. I want to wear what I love. Since I was a teenager, my family and friends have always commented that my style embodies my personality, for better or worse. No, it may not be sophisticated or elegant all the time. But I’m a clumsy, silly, and playful person. And what’s wrong with my style reflecting that? (Maybe not the clumsy part…lol). How boring would it be if everyone dressed according to the rules of their particular ages? I think, for the most part, that it’s all about personality. If you wear something with confidence and it feels truly “you”, then it won’t matter whether it follows the rules or not because it will still be fabulous!
<3 Liz
http://www.withwonderandwhimsy.com
This is a brilliant post Suzanne, brilliant!! and important – when I hit 40 I really did do the whole ‘I should really dress properly now’ and I was utterly, utterly miserable – thankfully I discovered Blogs and it made every difference to me, it’s why I think Blogs are incredibly important – being over 40 is wonderful! I’m 46 this year and so happy, I thoroughly enjoy seeing how we all present ourselves and especially how we dress, it’s fabulous! I get tremendous enjoyment seeing all of us wearing what we want and doing it so blooming brilliantly, seeing my Blogging Gals gives me so much strength and joy – btw you look magnificent! x x x
First though is that you look perfectly darling in this dress and in the way you’ve styled it. Suits you to a T, young lady. Your taste is pretty much unerring, I think, but it’s good to consider these aphorisms once in a while. If for no other reason than to remind yourself that age-appropriate issues are not very relevant to women’s lives nowadays.
I do think that it’s difficult for a very young woman to pull off real, bone-deep sophistication, though.
65 just arrived, and it bothered me very little … I was just sore that I had to work on my birthday. I’m feeling about 35 most of the time, but once in a while, when considering whether an item of clothing will suit me, I do give a thought to whether it is drastically too young for me. But my taste has grown up along with me, I think, and I’m drawn to garments that I think might work on my short, square frame than whether it suits my years on the planet.
I do resist the extreme eccentricity/avant garde thinking in color, cut and design that we older dames are currently encouraged to adopt … not my style preference then or now, and do admit that I fear looking like I just fell out of the clown car. One need not be a cool or brave as Iris Apfel to have a style-savvy later life (or at least I hope that’s true!)
You already know my thoughts on this. To hell with what people think…if wearing a mixed print dress with tiny kitties on it is what you want to do than have it…and you do look stunning in it my friend. I think it’s up to women like us to change the antiquated preconceived notions one extremely cool outfit at a time.
Debbie
http://www.fashionfairydust.com
I. Love. This. Post. This: “Aging isn’t all about wearing certain things or behaving in a specific way. It’s about accepting that this is your life. No one else’s. You live it. You make your own choices. You take responsibility. You suffer the consequences.”
You really spoke to me there. No I don’t know the meaning of life now that I’m 37 verses 17 (even though I thought I knew it then…) but I do feel so much more comfortable in my own skin. I know who I am & am comfortable with that. I don’t waste time on things I dont like. And I embrace the things I do like–whether it’s cute dresses orTaylor Swift or skinny jeans. Great post!
I loooove this dress. I have a navy dress with multicolored horses on it and I was hesitant to wear because over 40. But I love the dress. I love how it makes me feel, so I wear it and dare anyone to tell me I’m too old.
It is a lovely dress and it suits you to a T. I kept thinking it was a blouse with a skirt, but you kept calling it a dress. Anthropologie eh??? Hmmm.. some shop.
As for all you said … I totally agree. Just didn’t know you were still having sex. What a concept.
Greetje