Welcome to the 2014 Academy Awards!!!
First we have the pre show and red carpet.
Some of the members filling out their ballots …
A quick shot of the craft services.
Some blah blah blah…
A rabid fan that sat beside me and coughed up some old carrot on my designer gown.
How did she get in?
Grainy twitter celebrity selfie
And finally without further adieu…
17 hours later…
a grand winner is announced!
Thank you! thank you! thank you!
A quick change of clothes on my way to the podium and…
I'd like to thank the members of the academy…
my ability to speed change outfits, and talk incessantly about nothing
of course all those above that helped me achieve this amazing plastic cup and a full bottle of Moet for my greedy little self.
I'd like to thank Hazel Borg, for her graciousness in hosting the event.
Without her none of this would have been possible ( cause we don't have cable ).
The sexy barman for his wicked skills slow pouring the champagne down the side of the flute.
Pour me another like that baby and I'll be taking you home with me tonight!
The brilliant caterers.
Two types of gourmet popcorn, spiced seaweed & mucho caliente
Gourmet homemade bits and bites.
"You like me! You really like me!" Lemon coconut tartlet.
Brandied dark chocolate truffles
And of course to the real reason I'm up here…a huge thank you goes out to the one being that truly knows me,
my someone to feed, my someone waiting at the door for me, and my someone to chase…
my pug Zoe!
lookin' sly girlfriend!
A HUGE thank you to everyone tonight!
I love you all! (wiping away tears)
Now if you'll excuse me,
I'm taking my Oscar and heading out to the after party…
I said no photos!
Get these losers out of here!
I can't afford to have someone see me with the barman!
Now tell me honestly…
do you think I went overboard with my speech?