Some Times Things Don’t Go As Planned – I Need To Breathe

As promised here is the wonderful 1950's sequined wiggle dress. I'm dressed entirely in vintage, except the sunglasses (those were consignment). Shoes are from an estate sale, dress and bag from Bungalow vintage and earrings from a vintage sale in Hamilton.

Yes my bangs are far too long here. Thankfully I made it to see the hairdresser today.

I snapped these photos just before we left for a wonderful evening out.
Or so we thought.

Jazz Fest is in Toronto and we noticed there was a venue that offered live Tango music with dinner at a tapas bar.
Sounds fun right?

We got all dressed up.

Drove downtown and found parking right in front of the bar. That is kind of like winning the lottery in Toronto. I was happy since this was the first time I wore these heels and wasn't sure how far I could walk in them.
The bar was…how can I say this in the nicest way…like one of those places you stumble across in NYC that looks like a hole in a wall that no one knows about but has the best live music and best food ever.
Well that is what we told ourselves.
We looked like we just came from the Opera and everyone else looked like they had just stumbled out of bed after an all-nighter.
The place was packed. Which is normally a good sign…
right?
Yeaaaaah…not this time.
It took a mere 30 minutes just to get a menu.
It took an hour to get our drinks. No water and no bread was offered. Secretly I think they were hoping tables would leave because they were obviously overrun. And tables did leave. But we stuck it out. We kept being positive. We weren't giving up.
Robert ordered a Corona and the lime wedge was too big to fit into the bottle. Rookie mistake.
Two hours to get the first tapas. It was good…but small and guacamole isn't that hard to make people. It doesn't take 2 hours to scrape out an avocado and throw in some tomatoes.
By this time we were worried wondering why the music hadn't started. I had seen musicians going upstairs with instruments. Turns out the music was starting at 8:30 was upstairs, not where we were eating and required another $20 cover charge to squeeze onto wooden fold-up chairs in a tiny congested room. This was not what the flyer we had seen had advertised.
We were still waiting for our other two tapas plates to arrive when the music started playing…upstairs. It sounded nice. Well what we could hear anyhow.
In the meantime customers were getting mad, leaving, or just standing around the bar trying to get service. There were 3 people working in the whole place. One bartender, one waitress and one cook. Notice I did not say chef. This person was merely a line cook trying to do his best, which was dismal on the last two dishes.
We ordered Yucca…just to try it out.
The Yucca was just like the name…very Yucka. No taste at all. We could have been eating cardboard. Actually I think cardboard would have tasted better.
In the meantime one of the teenagers sons of the family across from us that been waiting for 3 hours for their meals was slowly and methodically picking something out of his paella. I assume this was an insect of some sort. His father put it on a separate plate and went up to tell the waitress. Funny enough…the whole family kept eating their meals. I think they were starving by that time. Even a dead rat wouldn't have put them off. Personally I was starting to freak out.
The musicians were already taking intermission by the time our final tapas arrived.
It was called gambas… or prawns. As soon as my husband saw them he declared, "I know gambas and those are NOT gambas!"
They were very small overcooked shrimp swimming in what looked like garlicky soap water with two slices of what might be soggy white bread but could have been an old kitchen sponge. We took a half a bite each and left.
We figured we might try to go and see the second set of live music but all the seats were taken so we resigned ourselves to total failure and left.
As soon as I got in the car I unzipped my dress.
Not because we were so horny we couldn't wait to get home…(that's what you were thinking right?) because I was having a hard time breathing the dress was so tight around my ribcage. I do not know how women wore corsets. I now think I need to take the dress to a tailor and have it taken out a bit. Either that or lose 1/2 inch from my ribcage. Maybe just get a rib removed?
The sexy straight jacket dress forced me to have the best posture of my life…but sometimes you feel like taking a real breath…not just a shallow gulp.
Now I know why Marilyn sounded like she was whispering all the time,
her dresses were too tight.
So…in the end it was a very disappointing evening out.
However…as my husband so romantically put it,

It didn't matter because we spent it together.
Awwwww…
What was your worst ever restaurant experience?
A Day At The Market – Playing Tourist At Kensington Market Toronto
After having lived in the Greater Toronto Area for 15 years now it was high time I'd made it down to visit one of the well known tourist attractions Kensington Market. I got the extra push after seeing Shelley’s post. We went down after our Tango Workshop.
Little known fact…Kensington Market became even more famous to Canadians due to this popular TV comedy…
…the King of Kensington which I do remember watching as a kid. In fact I remember that opening song by heart.
The first place we went was Model Citizen since I had seen the Liberty ties in Shelley's post and knew my husband would love them.


And yes…he helped himself to a new tie. He wore it to work later that week.

Gorgeous right? And yes…I picked it out ; )
The tie and the guy.
The market is filled with loads of outdoor murals and art, as well as street performers.

The gal with the accordion had a fit on me because she thought I didn't pay to take her photo. Meanwhile my husband had put money in her case. He had to vouch for me saying we were together otherwise she was going to come over and knock my teeth out.
Calm down Ms. Street Performer!
What happened to the friendly nice people from that King of Kensington video?
We ate at Big Fat Burrito. You can't miss it as the place is covered in bright graffiti (above photo lower left). Although they were good they weren't very spicy. We like things extra hot and spicy. Read into that what you will.

My favourite stops were
duh…
ice cream : )
And a brilliant thrift store called Bungalow where my husband convinced me to buy the amazing black sequined dress you see above.
Enabler.
It really reminds me of something Marilyn Monroe would have worn. A real 1950's wiggle dress.
It is the most fitted and structured dress I own.
Let's just say I couldn't run in this even if my life depended on it and I can't gain an ounce. Not an ounce!
NOTE: This did not stop me from eating the ice cream.
There is no slit in the back and it requires very small baby steps and lots of wiggling.
Basically it is sexy sequined straight jacket that comes down to the knees.
Come back tomorrow and you'll see me wearing the straight jacket.
The market isn't huge, but it is bustling with people, art and energy.
I liked it.
So that was our afternoon being tourists in our hometown.
Do you ever play tourist where you live?
Linking up with: The Pleated Poppy, I Feel Pretty
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