Suzanne Carillo

So here goes.

The five outfits that I felt were either the most unflattering, the least "me", or just plain fugly.

Don't bother packing your tent on your back, wear it instead! Since I hate camping (unless it is glamping) I am thankful I took this dress tent back.

Low slung crotches are just sad and make you look like you are wearing a full diaper. Even Justin Bieber can't convince me otherwise. I will be altering these to fit higher in the waist to eliminate the sagging adult diaper look.

This skirt looks cheap. Sad thing is that it wasn't. Maybe it isn't big enough or maybe it is the buttons down the front but after looking at this outfit again this skirt will be heading to a consignment store.

These jeans have been donated. Thank God. I am sure I was on crack the day I bought them from H&M. I hope whomever scores these is 6ft tall and weighs 115 lbs cause that is what these jeans require. I've just shattered the illusion you had of me being 6ft tall and only weighing 115 lbs now. Right?

This is just overdone and it looks like I'm trying too hard. I did end up taking this blazer back, although I can't blame it all on the blazer. Those booties aren't doing me any favours either.

Looking back on these fails I broke the golden rule of fashion and simply refused to dress for the shape of my body.

I do feel that I learn the most from the outfits that don't look good on me as opposed to ones that do, but just to be fair I will also show some of my favourite outfits of the year tomorrow. It's a great opportunity to further define my style by looking back over the year.

Are you willing to tell me your worst fashion fail last year?

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Thank heavens I don't have to take photos outside right now.

I had on my red puffy totally unfashionable down parka this morning when I went grocery shopping. Despite the feather insulation in the 10 seconds it took me to walk from the car to the store I thought all my blood had frozen into brittle ice crystals.

I looked like this dude but without the pants or moustach and a bit more hair.

The day I take a photo of myself in my down parka just shoot me. I've clearly given up.

On the way out the shopping cart even refused to work in the bitter temperatures. No joke! There I was struggling to force that metal carriage through the ice, the wheels stubbornly frozen in place. I had to push it so hard I almost went head first over the whole cart and barely escaped a serious face plant directly into my car. Nice.

Who knew grocery shopping was so exciting? What do Eskimos do I wonder? Order online and get Grocery delivery I imagine.

Just when I thought I was only a few seconds from the warm safety of my car one of my reusable shopping bags flew out of the back with a big gust of wind. I had to chase down that piece of vibrant pink plastic dancing its way through the parking lot. I looked like Mr. Bean chasing a pink flamingo. Just as soon as I got close the dang bag would swoosh up with the fierce wind just out of my grasp.

Thankfully that only happened twice.

Yep…twice that friggin' bag escaped.

Oh yeah, I was swearin' like a sailor by that time.

I briefly looked around to make sure I wasn't being punked and someone hadn't hooked that bag to a fishing line, reeling in their big catch of the day.

Normally I'd have let the bag go free in the wind and just felt remorse about the accidental littering afterwards, but it was my favourite one, extra big and sturdy. Please tell me I am not the only weirdo with a favourite reusable shopping bag.

So refusing to give up I stumbled around the parking lot, looking like a cherry coloured Michelin man /Frankenstein, my limbs frozen stiff, a feather wrapped mummy chasing after an escaping reusable shopping bag in the -30 C windchill that felt like liquid ice being sprayed directly on my face.