Have you seen Christie Brinkley lately?
In case you missed it here she is at the tender age of sixty-five. And no, that’s not a typo, she is sixty-five years old.
Doesn’t she look like every other sixty-five year old person you know?
Right.
“I am delighted that she is able to age so incredibly well and disappointed that I have such unrealistic expectations to live up to.”
There is no doubt that she looks incredible. I have to remind myself that it is her job to look good. It was her job when she was a supermodel and it’s still her job today. I am delighted that she is able to age so incredibly well and disappointed that I have such unrealistic expectations to live up to. Who else can attain this level of anti-aging aside from Benjamin Button?
I understand that celebrities are a breed unto their own but one can’t help but feel the pressure to strive for the unachievable. Physical appearance in our social media driven society tops all. The person with the best looking corpse wins.
One would think that as we grow older we learn to accept our physical changes but all around me I see that isn’t the case.
Powerful, rich industries thrive off of our fear of aging and desire to look young.
At fifty-two I am not immune to the pressure and false hope of trying to hold onto what I once had.
I’ve suffered through horrendous photo facials and had Botox injections on my forehead in an effort to keep the area between my brows relatively crevice free. The last time I Botoxed was over fifteen months ago so I’m currently Botox free. Now I’m relying on my bangs to hide the area in question.
Society’s unrealistic expectations on female aging are setting me up for failure.
I know it is impossible to achieve.
I didn’t look like Christie Brinkley when I was twenty and I certainly shouldn’t expect to look like her at sixty-five. Instead, I need to focus on actions which help me move forward and improve my life as I age , not just the way I look.
Hope do you cope with society’s expectations on female aging?
Linking up with Visible Monday, Turning Heads Tuesday, Fancy Friday, and Spy Girl
I am totally astonished at how she looks! She and I are the same age; I am 65 in March. I am sure there have been some ‘adjustments’ made to the photo and although she doesn’t look as if she’s been under knife, I expect there has been a lifetime of expensive anti-ageing treatments. Needless to say most ordinary women can afford to do this.
I’ve never had any treatments; I’ve never had a facial or botox or anything like that. My 40 year old daughter has recently had Botox for her frown lines; I tried to dissuade her but the pressure she perceived from society/media was too much for her.
It makes me really angry at the pressure that women are put under to delay ageing – as if you can! I’m also upset that women can’t see through the crap to the real reasons for the pressure. As for me, I shall embrace every wrinkle, roll of fat, age spots, thinning hair, and everything else that comes with the ageing process as signs of life lived and lived well!
OMG I had no idea Christie Brinkley was 65, and yes, bravo to her for looking so amazing and at the same time *%$#(#!!!
I have had several conversations about this lately. At my gym class, I showed some videos from the Instagram account of Norma Kamali. I first asked how old people thought she was. Everybody younger than 50 guessed 45. Everybody older than 70 guessed 72. She’s 73. And she does some advance Pilates moves in her videos. Amazing. The older gym members (and there were several; the class ranges from women in their 30s to their 70s) suggested she had some work done. I don’t know.
Then I was talking to an instructor from a different class. She’s about 60, a former ballerina. She kept going on about saving up for a facelift. I was shocked, because she is all natural, use crystals and auras for well-being, and now she wants a facelift? I think it’s the transition that’s so hard, similar to puberty, when you are no longer young and not yet old. Being downright unapologetically old is a badge of honor. But being just older isn’t. Not gray or white, but just some grays. Not interesting crevassed face but just some wrinkles and sagging. Not what amazing stories but just in the way of the next generation. Also, the more beautiful one was in youth, the harder it seems to be to submit to the slings and arrows of aging. I was never pretty–not ugly but just a tad too plain and round to be noticed. By contrast, my Pilates instructor (yet another class), who, at 50 looks 40 and who could have given the young Christie Brinkley a run for her money, is in complete angst about aging and menopause. I see it among some other friends, too. The ones who were OK but not “pretty” are just fine, but the former beauties are wracked by angst.
Like you, I rely on bangs to cover the wrinkles. And I work out. Maybe it helps me look (relatively) good, but I think it mostly keeps me from being a bent-over, limping old person. Use it or lose it.
I have mixed feelings. It obviously takes incredible discipline and determination to keep her body in such great shape. And I agree she probably has every anti ageing treatment going and a great doctor. I’m sure the kudos and adulation she gets must make everything worth it. None of us want to look older but the alternative is worse. As long as I have a healthy-ish lifestyle and good health, I’m happy with ageing.
Wonderful topic, Suzanne! That picture of Christie Brinkley is almost surreal, like she’s from the future or something. Nobody looks like that at our (mine and Christie’s) age. At least nobody we’ll see in real life.
One of my favorite actors is Frances McDormand. She’s about 60, and looks like someone I’d love to have a drink with. She hasn’t “let herself go” (the horror!) but she hasn’t been stretched and pinned. I like to look good, as do all of us, and there is that balance between intervention and acceptance. Not easy. xox
She actually makes me hopeful lolol I actually think half of it is styling and make-up tbh… I’m honestly totally interested in Botox but it’s not in the current budget. I do spend money on things like waxing—not exactly anti-aging, but def the beauty industry. Don’t forget make-up–def buy into make-up and not stopping.
I’m very thankful to family genetics for keeping my skin looking healthy and relatively wrinkle free at 67. Additionally, having grown up in northern Minnesota the diminished tanning opportunities and an intact ozone layer probably served me as well.
I guess we’re all grappling with various forms of deterioration to our physical appearance. That grappling can unfortunately drive some of us right over the chasm. Vulnerability to the cosmetic, medical, and surgical interventions is an individual journey but for most of us the affordability factor helps us to maintain some sanity.
I’m hoping that I continue to get wiser, more practical and realistic which in turn finds me embracing ALL of my aging self.
“The person with the best-looking corpse wins.” –That line made me laugh…but it probably shouldn’t be as true as it is. I tend to feel like it would be a better thing if we as a society accepted that people who have really experienced a lot of life should look like they’ve experienced a lot of life. Beauty looks different at different ages….youth is great, but it’s not the only valuable thing.
I totally agree on these mixed feelings. Sometimes I get angry about all the social pressure to look young and attractive, whatever your age, interests or personality. Even when a woman win the Nobel Prize, there are some people judging her aspect.
However, I’ve changed my mind on medical and surgery treatments, which I considered frivolous (I was a little bit intransigent). Many women I love and respect have indulge themselves with ‘minor adjustments’. My mom (69) has decided to soften her upper lip lines, my mother-in-law (75) have had a surgery to get rid of bags under the eyes. They have told me about these treatments as if they were completely normal, even if the post-surgery is awful!
I don’t know if my next step will be becoming a huge fan of surgery. Don’t think so, but who knows!?
Mixed feelings indeed!
besos
With ups and downs my dear, with ups and downs. As I have the misfortune of terribly saggy skin, I sort of gave up looking really young. If I had all the plastic surgery in the world I might overcome this, but I would look like a plastic babe. There is only so much you can nip and tuck.
Beter to give in and look like the best version of me and gather lovely people around me who can make me laugh. Doesn’t that sound like a good idea?
Greetje
I’m with the mixed bunch.
I remember having a discussion with a friend when we were younger about are we going to fight aging or embrace it. And while we didn’t come up with any answers, it was interesting to think about it that way.
Personally, what do you win for looking like you haven’t aged?? To me it’s important to look nice but I’ve given up on perfection. And maybe that’s easier for me because I’ve never been close to perfect (you know, model type).
XOXO
Jodie
http://www.jtouchofstyle.com
This is one of several areas where I feel so sorry for cis-gender women.
From their perspective, they are anxious about aging to the point of seeking even extreme remedies. Given society’s lessons, that’s understandable, but it’s very sad. From my perspective, they are so lucky to simply be women — and enjoy all of the many opportunities that come with it — that signs of aging should be accepted as normal and not disconcerting. But it’s hard to convey that to someone who’s upset so I always offer sympathy and not advice.
We all grow old. For many women, growing old offers freedom from social expectations and familial obligations. “Losing one’s looks” is a cultural concept whose power exists only when we buy into the culture. Seeing it as that can help. My stance as an outsider — who’s been prevented from living as a woman — makes it easy for me to reject damaging cultural ideas. I feel sorry for all women who struggle with this.
Ally, I like how you think.
😉
Thank you, Anne!
seeing the pic and knowing she´s 65 is very spooky!
thankfullly i was never interested in the the society´s expectations on me – not when i was young (i did not wanted to be cute, get married or have babies) – not in my middle age (ratrace? without me!) – and now….. i age. so what. thats normal. i´m 50, i look like 50. who wants me to look younger is someone i will not interact with!
you are pretty, smart, warmhearted, lovely. even with wrinkles 😀
xxxx
Aging is something most people think about even in their youthful age with the fear of loosing the appearance they have now. I know quite a number of old women in their sixties who prefer being called sister to mom or granny but the funny thing is no matter what you do, age will definitely catch up with you. So it is better we accept it earlier than continue to deceive ourselves.
It is best to rather see old age as a blessing than a burden because if our grannies had harbored that fear we wouldn’t be here calling them grannies. It is best to dress to look your finest than preventing wrinkles and sagging and a whole lot of stuffs. Thanks for this article.
The Glossychic
Wonder Cottage
Pah. I think we should all stop believing that she looks that good when she hasn’t had an army of make-up and hair experts working on her. Probably a spandex underpinning under that dress, and when this photo shoot is done, I’d lay bets that she pulls off those pointy-toed pumps with a sigh and a groan just like the rest of us.
We should stop praising people for aging well. For struggling to enjoy life, and live it to the fullest, yes, but not for the genes they so obviously inherited. My mum is 91, sound of mind, but not of body. She lives on her own with lots of help, and has gradually decreasing mobility due to extremely painful arthritis. She’s pretty much in pain all the time. But she used her treadmill right up to last year when she was too afraid her bad leg would give way and she’d have a fall. She jokes about starting out for the bathroom with her walker before she even has to “go” so she’ll get there on time, feels humiliated at how much “ground she has lost” this past year, but keeps on motoring as best as she can. Let’s praise those who struggle, not just those who seem to be beating the odds.
Sigh. Rant over. 🙂
I agree with Sue.
For Christie’s face, I see either plastic surgery or Photoshop and definitely Botox. Maybe not, that’s my perception. But it looks so shiny and fake. Am I being too critical? Yeah.
I prefer the route of Helen Mirren et al who eschew the knife. Don’t get me wrong — if a face lift or Botox will make YOU feel better, go for it! (I have a dear friend who constantly gets “rehabbed” and she looks great. And real).
This comes from someone who won’t even get braces (and needs them), so consider the source!
That s unbelievable! I must say that lately I hate the way I look because menopause does make my skin older very fast it seems. But also being to busy doesn’t t make it better. I use botox between my brows twice a Year and I feel good about it. And I use good creme and go to the beauticien every Six weeks. What more can I do! BTW, what a wonderfull skirt you are wearing!
Suzanne, first of all you look amazing. You have one of those faces that will always look fairly youthful, and I like the bangs! Second, I agree with you, in that we put so many expectations on ourselves that we can’t possibly live up to. How do I handle it? I try not to spend too much time looking at other people. I peruse the websites and the magazines to see what the fashion trends are, but I don’t spend a lot of time looking at people’s faces. I also remind myself that all of “that” is not realistic. Many of those celebs, models, etc have resources both financially and socially that give them the ability to look that way, whether through healthier diet and exercise with a personal trainer, make up tips from high priced professionals, hair help from said same or even plastic surgery and other physical adjustments. I don’t have access to those sorts of things, and even if I did, I think aging is part of who we are. The sooner we accept that the sooner we can move on and enjoy all the other aspects of life there are to enjoy. We do what we can and blow off the things we can’t change. – Amy
http://stylingrannymama.com/
Mixed feelings here too, Suzanne. Christie Brinkley might look incredible for her age, but I do agree with Patti that she looks almost surreal. And she’s obviously had lots of anti-aging treatment as – even with genetics in one’s favour, there aren’t many women who look like that aged 65. I for one wouldn’t even want to look like that at 65. I do think that women look so much more attractive when they embrace their age. So far, I haven’t got any issues with aging, possibly because most people think I look younger than I actually am. I don’t have too many wrinkles, and treasure the ones I do have. And I feel so much better in my – slightly sagging – skin than when I was younger! xxx
I agree with the commentor who said that women who have always been “pretty” and who are touted for their good looks most likely have a more difficult time accepting their ageing faces, whereas those of us who have never thought of ourselves as exceptionally good looking may have an easier time accepting it. Christie looks amazing, but as you said, it’s her job to look good, and she has the time, money and resources to do so. It’s strange to think that there will be next to no public role models for ageing naturally (at least in the US) because all the 40 year old actors, models, etc. have started getting plastic surgery – Why, Sandra Bullock, WHY???). I saw the documentary “Tea with The Dames” with Maggie Smith, Judi Dench, Eileen Atkins and Joan Plowright, all British actors who have allowed themselves to age naturally (at least it looks as if they have) and it was so refreshing to see women with wrinkles!
Allure. That’s a word I want associated with my aging. Alluring. It is an ageless word I think. I still wear my hair up, bangs-free. And would be a fan of the Elizabethan ruffle collar if it matched everything, and it would be like a bib. Handy.
I have always said I wouldn’t go for interventions, and haven’t except for braces in my early teens. But never say never. I have migrating makeup which pisses me off. But I think, if my skin gets pumped up and then all that goo leaks into my body, won’t that area look even more like a deflated balloon afterwards after being stretched? The trick is to stay in motion so nobody can get a good look.
I can just say, whatever it takes to feel good. And someday we’ll be able to print out new faces on printers. Already we can grow new teeth in petri dishes. Twilight zone in our twilight years perhaps.
Oh, isn’t it sad that so many women are frightened of looking their age?
Thank god for women like Angelica Houston, Frances McDormand, Meryl Streep and Judi Dench who don’t look like bizarre waxworks and look entirely like the kind of gals I’d like to hang out with – comfortable in their own skin and not giving a toss as to how society expects them to look.
I’ve never been a great beauty so I’m not that arsed about getting older – I’ve got wrinkles and droopy eyes and after a boozy night I wake up looking like I’m 103 but I just wear the brightest lipstick I can find, cover myself in jewellery and wear the coolest dresses I can find and nobody sees beyond the outfit! xxx
Reading through these two dozen comments tells me (1) Suzanne has skill raising important subjects and (2) thoughts of women on aging are varied and intriguing. Public conversation like this is rare and should be encouraged.
I have been thinking about the expectations that are put on women as we age a lot lately. I think it’s very important to take care of ourselves so that we feel our best and look good. But do we really have to look a lot younger than we are? I have started getting annoyed when people tell me I look a lot younger than I am, and I’m actually trying to figure out why…. At the same time, I was an old(er) mom when I had my second son, so I appreciate feeling (and looking) younger. Definitely feeling ambivalent about the topic…
I work out with a woman who just turned 65, and she is in great shape and clearly takes care of herself. She has also a youthful attitude. She looks younger than she is, maybe mid 50s. I admire her because she clearly makes her health a priority and also because of her mindset. I guess I want to focus on aging as well as I can to be able to do all the things I love to do and feel good about myself without having to worry about “looking young.” But that’s clearly not the message society feeds us…
BTW, I think you look fantastic and are always an inspiration to be myself!
She looks Awesome and so do many others in my age group who have stylists, Doctors, fitness coach and makeup gurus around all the time. And I respect them for doing whatever. What keeps me young is the fact that I refuse to be Invisible and wearing my wrinkles and sagging skin is just who I am. I like a little camo now and then and will wear some foundation on special occasions, but you can catch me around town in sunscreen and a lipstick.. Great post Suzanne!
Indeed this is a great post Suzanne. . I have actually seen her in person and she is really quite beautiful. However I think in this last shot she doesn’t quite look like herself. I think that is one of the trade-offs with a great deal of plastic surgery. You do look younger but you don’t necessarily look prettier, or even like yourself.
A year ago I did a lunchtime lift, just under the chin, and it took me a full year to recover. LOL. It is the first and last facial plastic surgery I will ever do and it was a really tiny procedure. No fillers or Botox for me as it is contra indicated for my health, I will eventually do a blog post about this experience. But I am glad I did it even if the result is slight.
In Manhattan I do see many women who are maintained like this. I would find this completely exhausting and not especially gratifying I think.
You look beautiful in this chevron skirt. I think we all need to appreciate our own unique beauty and not obsess over the social medias version ..yes to bangs, btw!
❤️❤️❤️
Elle
https://theellediaries.com/
I love this article thanks for writing about women and aging. Society has really done a number on women from the time we’re born we are told we should look a certain way amongst other things or we’re useless. There’s an industry that makes millions upon millions basically convincing women into getting treatments, facelifts, botox you name it. I’m not against making yourself feel better by getting a treatment, but it shouldn’t be to try to escape your age. My mother’s from France, women in Europe seem to be revered more so than here in America, they don’t seem to be uptight about aging though maybe they’ve been influenced by America now. As I age, I feel clearer, and more myself than I ever did, I’m grateful to be my age and I want to age and grow and have so much to accomplish, learn and do in this life. There is something about the wisdom gained as you move forward in your life, why waste that by feeling bad about oneself because of a chronological age anyway? Besides, there’s something from over 2,000 years ago called face reading that some acupuncturists use and some people practice as readers which talks about “good wrinkles” that you want to have, for one those “crows feet” by your eyes mean you have an open heart, how beautiful is that? It’s known in Chinese face reading that if someone alters their face like blow up their lips for example, it can really throw their life off balance, namely relationships in that case. The superficial sell of women’s so called beauty isn’t what it appears to be though for some it may provide temporary happiness. The most beautiful thing is who you are inside, the light that shines from your eyes, people don’t notice the wrinkles when your spirit is vibrant don’t worry about the wrinkles.