Hairy spiders, slithering snakes or really creepy things like centipedes
freak.
me.
out.
The thought of sky diving makes me a bit breathless, but not in a good way, in a hyperventilating kinda way.
Mention hospitals or emergency rooms and that makes my
blood
run
cold.
They are full of what I fear most…
Sick people. don’t stand next to me!
Germs. everywhere…I can’t breathe!
Bad smells, not just bad…horrendous smells. A cocktail of every single thing that makes you gag stirred together. Smell hell.
Disgusting sounds. Who likes the sound of someone vomiting? Or coughing up a lung?
Seeing things you don’t ever want to see. You know what I’m talking about.
Losing your personal identity. Take a number, have a seat, we’ll get to you when we can.
Surrendering your body. Being poked, prodded, jabbed. Needles, tubes, tape, stitches you name it it will soon be stuck to and inside your body.
The unknown. Everything is foreign. The instruments, the language, the people.
Trusting someone with your life. You have to trust people you’ve only just met to have your best interests at heart. They now control what happens to your body.
Loss of dignity. Get over it right now. Be prepared to describe in agonizing detail your most personal problems and then take off your clothes and put it all on display.
Despair. The only good reason to go to a hospital is to have a baby. Everyone else is there for something bad.
Aging. It happens to everyone, but it isn’t pleasant.
Loss of hope.
And finally…the biggie…
Death.
People die here.
Daily.
By far hospitals are my greatest fear in life.
You may remember that I had to take a little break for a quick laparoscopy surgery to try to deal with some endometriosis.
It was a day surgery, meaning I should go in at 8 am and leave by around 2 pm.
Back at work in a day!
Have sex again in 3 days!
Wohoo! high five!!!
They were making it sound like a romantic getaway.
Easy peezy right?
That was over a week ago.
I was just released from hospital today. I’m still very weak (among other things) and it will take quite some time for me to heal and recover completely.
None of this 1 day BS. I guess that was another brochure.
The ordeal was so terrifying and unbelievable I need to tell it in stages. So today I’m just introducing you to the idea…
what happens…
when it doesn’t go as planned?
Continued here…It went just fine up until the surgery.
Oh no Suzanne!!!!
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
Oh my goodness Suzanne! I am so glad you are at least able to go home now, but so sorry to hear that things turned out the way they did so you needed to stay for that long! Know that we are thinking of you.
Oh heavens Suzanne! I’ve been thinking about you! Your list is my list…except that I think babies, for the most part, should be born at home. Hospitals, blech, big, big blech!
But you are home! And I’m going to take that as a good sign!
Take good care!
Thanks Tamera, I needed that : )
Thanks Kristian : )
Slow and steady wins the race…hard to do when your personality is the opposite : )
Thanks for the kind words.
Oh no!! It does feel like you were gone from the blog forever! That’s miserable that it turned out even worse than you were prepared for!
Saw your comment over at Patti’s. This is so hard. Glad that you are home, hospitals suck. Hope things get back to normal soon.
blue hue wonderland
Well, you’re home now and that’s a good thing, right? I know a hospital hangover takes awhile to fade, but I hope it means you’ll feel even better when you’ve healed. Take care of yourself and don’t rush anything.
Oh no…I am not a fan of hospitals either. I hope that now that you are home means that things are getting better. Take care and hope you have a speedy recovery.
Alice
http://www.happinessatmidlife.com
Ok, I hate to laugh at this post but I am rolling. Your description of this ordeal is too funny. I am so sorry it was not as expected. Hope you feel better soon Suzanne.
Suzanne, I don’t know what to say. I avoid most mainstream medicine anymore. I can’t perform my own stitches, so I have had to rely on hospitals for that and have in the past. But the endometriosis thing… I spent a portion of the inheritance my mother left me on surgeries for it in my 20’s (I didn’t have insurance at the time). Cut open completely once for inspection, then 2 laparoscopies. Then two c-sections, so my belly has been abused. On lupron 2x too, so went through menopause twice in my 20’s. I am truly sorry you are having to deal with this. The fact is, hospitals are not a safe place to stay. Many germs along with many medical errors. Glad you are home. xoxo
So nice that I was missed : )
“Normal” is my new goal. Funny how life’s priorities can change so quickly.
I can tell you that I am MOST grateful to be home.
I think no one likes hospitals. Thanks for the well wishes : )
Yeah…well worse than not as expected…but now hopefully on the way to recovery. I see another Dr. next week.
If you thought this was funny wait till I tell about my first night in the hospital. I swear… I couldn’t make this stuff up if I wanted to.
I couldn’t agree more about hospitals not being safe. I don’t think that you can heal in a hospital. They are the polar opposite of “healing environment”.
That sounds awful about your endometriosis. I can’t imagine going through that many surgeries.
Oh Suzanne,
I am just catching up on my blog reading. I am so sorry to hear you have had such an awful time of it. Sending you healing thoughts and wishes for a speedy recovery. You have been through the ringer-hoping it’s smooth sailing now.
xx, Heather
I am hopeful too. Although after everything that happened I’m much more wary and less likely to be as optimistic as before.