Jeans – AG, Shoes – Nine West, Vest – Guess, Belt – consignment store, Hat – vintage, Necklace – homemade by me
I went out to a singles dance last night with my girlfriend.
I know I'm not single, but I do like to dance and since hubby is away ( I did tell him and he was on board with the idea) I thought it would be a good opportunity to dress up and shake my groove thang.
My girlfriend is 9 years older than me. I say this because it's important to know that this singles dance had a much older crowd than what I'm used to.
Let's just say that this is the first time in a very long time that I felt like the baby of the crowd.
There were some guys my age, and maybe a few younger, but not many.
That did not stop me from dancing the night away. My girlfriend and I had a blast.
BUT…
And this is a BIG but…
Why is it that older men…okay let's be honest…OLD men think that they have it goin' on still?
I'm not dissing them. Some of them still had some good moves.
And most of them were polite and had good manners.
Some of them however…seemed to think that even though they were the same age as my Dad that they had a great chance of "getting to know me". NOT happenin' dude.
I call this the Hugh Hefner complex. Except that Hugh has loads of cash, a famous mansion and although it may be a fading empire, some kind of cachet or power that many women still find enticing. Personally I don't, but to each his or her own.
Old dude with no power and no cash.
Not-so-sexy.
But man that is not stopping them from thinking they are as hot if not hotter than Michael Fassbender and have more to offer than George Clooney.
In their own eyes they are all Adonis.
So many of the men had this confidence. Full body confidence.
In fact they were so confident with their big bellies, balding heads, wrinkles and sagging jowls that it was almost arrogant. They were that much into themselves.
When they look in the mirror they must be thinking …
"Man oh man…you are lookin' HOT tonight! Wait till the ladies see this."
Whereas a woman, no matter how fantastic she may look, views herself in the mirror and sees all her flaws.
"My eyes are too baggy, I think I put on some weight, this looks too tight, are people going to notice my heavy thighs?"
Men congratulate themselves and women criticize themselves.
We need to take a lesson from the men and stop beating ourselves up.
And understand that we are all Goddesses.
No matter our age, weight, height, social status, job, etc.
We are all,
sexy,
powerful,
beautiful,
desirable,
intelligent,
creative,
unique,
confident
women.
Remember that the next time you look at yourself in the mirror.
Know it.
Feel it.
Be it.
No one can treat you better than yourself.
You deserve it.
Now go out there and hit on some guy 25 years younger than you.
…Kidding!
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Amen to that! I absolutely agree with you. And you are right. We deserve it. And your outfit is absolutely gorgeous. Love the boyfriend jeans, the vest, the belt is darling, the shoes are beautiful. Cool scarf and the hat is amazing.
Have a lovely day
Lenya
PS I found you through the Visible Monday link-up.
Right on sister! We all need to hear these kinds of comments often. By the way, you look beyond fab!
blue hue wonderland
Love that outfit. Awesome belt. I have always laughed at my flaws. It makes me a happier person.
hahaha you made me laugh. I think maybe that “confidence” You see in them is actually horniness, seriously. I remember my ob/gyn said to me after my second child, that men don’t change.
Nontheless, we should strut our own stuff–and just to feel good about ourselves.
Love the jacket! Glad you had fun~
I like that lesson–I know my husband never shows the least lack of confidence. Even when I tease him about all of his gray hair. When I went to ballroom dance club every week, there were a couple of men who were probably in their 40s-50s who would come and dance too. Everyone else who was there was in college…so that was a little weird, I always thought.
And this outfit is so pretty and I love your belt!!
Such an important… and oh so true post.. on both fronts. I again, appreciate the depth of your posts… and your stylish fashion sense! I am adoring your belt!
1) You look amazing in hats. Just sayin’!
2) Yes! Women Rock! Own it, Ladies!
3) It is funny. We go out ballroom dancing and it is mostly an older crowd, but we go up with people in our dance class, which included high school girls. One thing I (and they) noticed was older men do love to dance with younger women. No one minded because they were all polite and they did all have good dance moves for the most part. But something my dance instructor said stuck with me about it- men like to still look and appreciate a woman, no matter her-or their-age. And dancing with younger women made them feel younger themselves. Of course, quite a different atmosphere from your dance (ours is a ballroom dance club instead of a singles dance, and the young girls were obviously in high school). But the older women never came over and asked my husband to dance.
Some of it is social expectations, I suppose and I liked having my guy to dance with the entire time but it is interesting.
Great wisdom in your post as well as fabulous outfit! -Marci @ Stone Cottage Adventures
so, so true and funny if it weren’t so tragic for the rest of us (the victims of their over-confidence! : >) I give my hubby a lot of credit, he is quite modest about his good looks and if he had to go to a dance, would be hugging the wall, staring at his iPad. You on the other hand, are smoking HOT. Thanks for sharing with Visible Monday. xox
I was laughing through most the post…and then I was cheering…cheering us all! Great post Suzanne, and you look amazing in this outfit, safari style.
Visiting from Visible Monday #50. Thanks for the Inspiration! I have not stopped loving myself and love me more every day. You look great in that outfit.
First of all, I love every part of your outfit and it looks FANTASTIC on you! The hat, the necklace, the waist cinched with that belt, and everything else. Love your photos, all of it!
Second of all, the title of your post is ripe with innuendo, but I suppose you know that. ;~) Now about men, here’s the thing. When they feel that they’re not as gorgeous/tall/fit/rich as the next guy in the room, they overcompensate. It’s the same reason that little dogs bark more than big dogs. But it is really irritating, isn’t it?
So true! There’s way too many double standards in our society and it’s time we change it! Love this outfit and how you belted this jacket!
Alice
http://www.happinessatmidlie.com
I hear ya, sister. I’m just off to hang round the local college right now and hit onm a few fit students!
So true, maybe as we start reading more blogs by real women rather than feel intimidated by glossy mags featuring airbrushed celebs and pre-pubescent teens we’ll realise that the time for action and having fun doesn’t stop.
Looking gorgeous! x
If I had a dollar for every time I’ve been hit on by an old man I could retire. Where does it come from? When they were young were they those ridiculously arrogant guys I’ve never been able to stand? But on the other hand, kudos to them for rockin’ the confidence. I love how you sometimes belt your jackets…I need to give that a try!
Debbie 🙂
http://www.fashionfairydust.blogspot.com
It is weird huh? It is such a foundational flaw we’ve grown up with too. I am glad you got to go dancing though! Even if some of the men were obnoxious! 😉
-Jamie
ChatterBlossom
Firstly – fabulous look! Amazing belt. Secondly – awesome post. It is so true. We are polar opposites (except, of course, for all the exceptions hee hee).
I always wondered what makes older men so confident. I’ve had numerous encounters in my very early twenties where men in their fifties would try to hit on me right in the middle of the street. I was shocked that they would think there was a possibility of me saying yes. I mean some of these dudes were as much as 30 years older than me (that’s older than my father!) And to think that even at that age I felt insecure about my looks(even though I was almost 20 pounds lighter), while these men somehow viewed themselves as hot enough to pick up a girl that’s young enough to be their daughter! It’s quite amazing how differently men and women are wired.
I second Lenya AMEN! Absolutely love this post and every word in it. You were able to make us laugh and yet bring forth a powerful message and then on top of all that share a wonderful version on how to be sexy, powerful, desirable, intelligent, creative, unique, and confident. there is not one item I would change of this ensemble. I envy the way you can wear those waisted belts. By the way, where did your hat come from?
Great post Suzanne!! And you look super cute!!
I remember my single gal days going dancing and having dudes old enough to be my GRANDFATHER hitting on me. As if……
Fantastic outfit, the statement belt is absolutely amazing!
Hugs
Beata
Love this outfit — and yes, confidence is everything!
I agree I love confident women regardless of age. It’s interesting that you found a lot of these men confident, I don’t think that’s always the case. I know plenty of older gents that lack confidence, particularly around women. They maybe the man in the boardroom but when it comes to speaking to women they’re still unsure of themselves.
First … looking too cute and perfectly styled, young lady! Soooo happy you’re feeling more your feisty self.
In our culture, men don’t spend their entire lives trying to look their best, and are almost never told that they are anything but wonderful. When these guys were little, they never heard anything but “go clean up!” Easy. Little girls from their ear were told “go make yourself pretty!” Another task, entirely, and so subjective.
I concur completely that we need to love ourselves, but I’m not sure anyone ought to be under the illusion that we’re perfect just as we are in every sense, except perhaps in a spiritual sense. But I take your point and agree absolutely that we ought to all be a lot kinder to ourselves. Also that that consciousness is a reminder to be kinder to everyone else!
Great post! Yes, we all need to feel beautiful and believe in that.
Hahahaha! Love this post! So hilarious and so true 🙂 YOU LOOK GREAT!
Tiffany Ima
Style HonestlyHahahaha! Love this post! So hilarious and so true 🙂
Very nice post today! And it gave me an oprimistic view of myself. I agree with you and I will try to remember tomorrow while I will be looking in the mirror. . .
You are so beautiful wearing that jacket and jeans! I also like your shoes and hat. . . is there anything I don’t like in your outfit??
Thanks for popping by Lenya : )
Thanks Ann : )
What a great way to look at flaws : )
I can’t believe your OBGYN said that. I’m assuming it was a guy?
Yep…those old guys don’t mind one bit mixing it about with someone in college.
Isn’t the belt wiild? I found it in an upscale consignment store. It wasn’t cheap but it was so unique I knew it would be a great piece. Plus I have 2 little change purses on it.
Well I should explain that at this singles dance there are 1/5th of the people that are either in couples or married and coming just to dance.
I agree with your point that being with younger people makes you feel younger but at some point it has to be noted that you are no longer able to keep pace, especially when the difference of age is so high.
I was dancing with one portly gentleman that was doing his utmost to keep up with my manic dancing. Let’s just say I go a bit wild on the dance floor. I was seriously scared he might have a heart attack. I highly doubt (by the size of his girth) that he had done any type of aerobic exercise for over 40 years. I was scared for him.
That’s the attitude I’m talkin’ bout!
Go Vix! Go Vix! Go Vix! LOL
You definately need to belt your jackets. With chesticles as large as yours lady you need to define your little waist : )
Yep…that’s what I kept saying to myself. Just have fun and ignore the old guy creepin’ on you. LOL
LOL
I can tell you one thing…getting older does not mean getting wiser. I agree with you 100%. I have no idea why on earth they think that someone 30 years younger than them would be interested. I guess they are playing their odds.
I picked up that belt at a high end consignment store. I tried to see the brand on it and could only find Made in Italy on it. It is very unique that is for sure.
Right!??? As if!!!!
Thanks Beata : )
Well I don’t know what else you call it when a guy that is 30-40 years my senior keeps asking me to dance and talking to me like he is on the prowl. I could see if it was just one guy that was like this. But literally every old dude at that dance that asked me to dance was like that. Some were much worse than others.
There was one guy that might have been in his mid 30’s and he was by far the shyest of the lot.
It is possible that the guys that were lacking confidence didn’t ask women to dance. I did see quite a few standing or sitting around that didn’t dance.
I agree there is always room for improvement, but some things in life we can’t change. Like our faces or our height…unless we have surgery. (You know my opinion on surgery already.)
It is a mistake to think we have to change all the time in order to be “worthy”. I think that right here, right now, we are all worthy. Living a life constantly requiring something to change, before we are happy with ourselves is a mistake. Tomorrow we could die after never truly being happy with ourselves. What for? What a waste.
Enjoy what you are, what you have right now, but keep your dreams and goals handy.
Oh, yeah. I’ve gotten so used to never measuring up to ANYONE that I gave up measuring. Perfection is subjective, arguable and difficult to define, impossible to achieve, but worthiness is something else entirely. I concur!
I ask myself this same question every time a man who looks old enough to be my grandfather approaches me with a stupid line. And this has been happening a lot lately. Why do these old geezers think I will go for it??!! Really?!!!!??? I know I am not a spring chicken, but I think I may be able to get a guy who is a couple of years younger than me. Or at least my age. 🙂 You look fabulous, I love that belt! XOXOX
Very recognizable, Suzanne. And very true.
Over the last years I learned from husbands of my friends and of my own husband, that they perceive us and our bodies in a different way then we do ourselves.
So I learned not to mention my self criticism to my husband any more. No need to make him look more critical to my body. It is actually quite liberating to know that they see us as better-looking then we in fact look; LOL!
Ummm probably my weedy garden LOL
I totally agree you could SO pick-up guys younger than you. I still don’t believe you are as old as you’ve hinted. Must be black magic ; )
Hear hear lady! Awesome post and so true too about men – though at times it borders on self delusion on their parts we women could take a page out of men’s books and allow ourselves a little more self confidence.
Love how you styled the bf jeans with the belted jacket!