At The Dance…
To the guy at the dance that I saw that looked like this…
Well he had "dolled" himself up for the night out by putting the back of the mullet in a ponytail.
DUDE!!! Do you hear The Bangles playing?
Is Regan president?
Do you have a pager?
Guess what? It's not the 80's anymore.
Every woman just marked a big X by your name.
No, they're not choosing you, they're crossing you off.
Lose the mullet and gain a girlfriend.
This is my impression of a ponytail mullet…you like?
To the very old man that insisted on dancing with me in a close-to-the-body-groin-touching-freaky-deaky-creepy-waltz while everyone else was dancing to techno music…TECHNO music!
It's not right. How on earth can you justify dancing a creepy-close-hold waltz to techno music?
Say it like it is…you're just creepin'.
And yes when someone tells you that they think it's awkward and weird and they don't like to dance like that then maybe…just maybe get the hint. Instead of making the person come straight out and say to your face, "I really don't like this. It is making me uncomfortable. It is just plain weird. It's distasteful."
Don't bother sounding hurt either by saying, "Is it really that bad?" If you had to ask the question, it most definitely is.
To the guy that sat down by my girlfriend and his opening line was, "What do you do for a living?"
Maybe, just maybe try a different opening line.
Something fresh and original, like, "Hi, my name is David/John/Bob…can I sit down?"
To the older women that have great rockin' bodies that really like to show them off.
You've still got it.
I get it.
But even if I saw a 21 year old wearing that same outfit you're sporting I'd think it was scandalous.
Miley Cyrus would be blushing. And she just wears a foam finger and wrecking ball.
Just before you leave the house if you can feel a breeze on your nipples or crotch you may want to put on some more clothes.
To the younger guy that told me I was the cutest one there, was "cute as a button" and it was normal that I was already married because I was so beautiful.
I like you.
You were sweet, if somewhat drunk, you complimented me and when I told you I was married you politely left me alone.
To the man that was dressed as a woman. You GO girl! You were dressed well and your make-up was perfect. It did kind of freak out some people in the bathroom with your deep voice though.
Check the pug photo bombing me… Pants – Seven for All Mankind, Shoes – Me Too, Jacket – Top Shop, T-shirt – Joe Fresh
To all the super old dudes that only want to ask the youngest women at the dance to dance and ignore all of the other wonderful women closer to their own age…
If you were serious about meeting someone to have a relationship with or even hook-up with at that dance you would ask someone closer to your own age.
Younger women will dance with you because they like dancing and don't want to be impolite, but they are not remotely interested in you.
You remind them of their Dads and some cases their Grandfathers.
To the old guy that tried his hardest to keep up with me on the dance floor.
Yay for you!
You were even doing the rave/pogo-jumps and wild arm movements.
I have to admit though, there were more than a few scary moments that I seriously thought you might have a heart attack.
If you have never done aerobic exercise in your life and are pregnant with a 25 lb beer belly you might want to take it down a notch.
And just for the record I don't know CPR.
Now tell me something you've wanted to say to someone but didn't.
Linking up with Share in Style The Pleated Poppy ,Wardrobe Wednesday, Rae Gun Ramblings , Random Wednesday The Style Sessions My Girlish Whims I Feel Pretty , Favourite Things Keeping It Casual Mix and Match Fashion Favourite Fashion Friday
We went swing dancing downtown last night….it’s always the most interesting crowd of people….even a two year old running around chasing a ball on the dance floor. If I was the Mom I would have been more concerned for my little child’s safety! And there were a whole bunch of people with their faces painted like skulls…and a guy wearing a hulk mask, and three guys with no shirts on (it was about 50 degrees out)…and cute little old couples….I love going there both for the exercise and the people-watching part, but I have to admit that when I notice some of the guys walking towards me I might just purposely grab Angel’s hand or lean on his shoulder or otherwise ‘act married’. 😛
Tamera the Menopausal Supermodel says
PUG BOMB!!! I love the plaid with the leopard (gonna have to copy that combo)
I was ROFL all through this post–does it bring back memories!!
I always wanted to be less polite and tell the sleazy lounge lizard hitting on me this:
“what’s your sign, baby? “(and yes this line was used back in the day-usually by some fat balding dude in a powder blue leisure suit)
“No Trespassing” my response.
Ha! I’ve just spat most of my tea on the monitor thanks to you! You’re spot on. Wouldn’t most men have far more success by just introducing themselves and asking to join you nicely rather than using some inane chat-up line and having no manners? Doesn’t bode well for a long standing relationship, does it?!
Loving your not-a-mullet and those sexy pants and that delightful sneak peek of pug! xxx
Hilarious!! What a time you had.
I love this look, so sharp. What a great mix of print and texture too.
Your hair looks amazing and growing out nicely.
Happy day to you and yours.
LOL! You really crack me up. I’m so stealing that line of No Trespassing!
That sounds like a zoo! not a dance! LOL
A guy was wearing a Hulk mask? Scary!
Alison @ Get Your Pretty On says
That. Is. AWESOME. LOL! Poor guy. I want to chop off that mullet for him. 😉 You are rocking those pants. I can’t wait to get my leather leggings that I ordered this week. SO hot!
Kristina C says
Laughing my butt off reading this!
Hahaha oh my gosh!! Sounds like a memorable night!
I just decided that I need a plaid blazer. You are totally rocking this one with the leather pants – I LOVE it!
Thanks for linking up 🙂
Ok. Now we are just getting ridiculous. In tomorrow’s post I’m wearing faux leather pants. I kid you not, you devil woman! Ha! Although my leather pants are more MC Hammer than sleek and streamlined like yours…If we lived in the same country we’d totally be hanging out all the time.
You look totally hot by the way!
Wow. You said everything I’ve always wanted to say. I go dancing every Friday night and always get surprised by the way the older men act and what they think impresses a woman. There is one particular man that I have always wanted to say ‘Wise up. That 20-something is just not into you’.
Get out of my brain you hair twin! LOL
If we lived near each other people would really think we are twins : )
I told my girlfriend I would just love to go to the dance and have everyone put on an age tag. Then they would really know the difference in age.
It truly does amaze me how they believe that they merit someone that is the age of their daughters or sometimes even grand daughters.
Sadly Hollywood perpetuates this as well, almost always making the love interests in films with young women and much older men.
Happiness at Mid Life says
One of my favorite posts of yours!!! This is hilarious – it sounds like you had an interesting time at this club with your girlfriend! I love this look with the plaid & leopard. And those jeans..wow!
This is so, so …. SO good! Found you via the WIWW linkup. You look great!
Stilettos & Sequins
I’m liking this outfit, great pants. The red plaid look so cool with your hair. Great story, we all know guys like this!
OMG Suzanne, this post was hilarious! I think you managed to find every type of person you can find in a club in one night! Haha 🙂
And I looove that blazer!
LOL!! Loved this! I thought it was pretty cool you went dancing and had a great time and also had these hiliarious observations about the characters you met to share with us after!
Highland Fashionista says
Eeeeeeew. Inappropriately touching-close-hugging-dance-guy. I KNOW HIM. We’ve met.
Gabriala @StyleHigher.com says
OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!! Your are a RIOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CRACK UP!!!!!! Okay. What would I say to someone that I didn’t…
“That was so RUDE when I told you I would be there in 10 minutes and as you turned around you rolled your eyes back into your head not knowing I saw those eyes roll! But I saw you roll your eyes, with my own two eyes (but never told you so I am doing it here, on a blog so you will never know about it.)” 😀 XOXOXOXOX
Gabriala @StyleHigher.com says
Love the plaid and leopard! XO
Interesting is the appropriate word ; P
So sorry. LOL He does seem to get around.
Glad somebody finally played along : )
LOL! And fab outfit….again!