How I Was Forced To Face Almost ALL Of My Greatest Fears
Hairy spiders, slithering snakes or really creepy things like centipedes
freak.
me.
out.
The thought of sky diving makes me a bit breathless, but not in a good way, in a hyperventilating kinda way.
Mention hospitals or emergency rooms and that makes my
blood
run
cold.
They are full of what I fear most…
Sick people. don’t stand next to me!
Germs. everywhere…I can’t breathe!
Bad smells, not just bad…horrendous smells. A cocktail of every single thing that makes you gag stirred together. Smell hell.
Disgusting sounds. Who likes the sound of someone vomiting? Or coughing up a lung?
Seeing things you don’t ever want to see. You know what I’m talking about.
Losing your personal identity. Take a number, have a seat, we’ll get to you when we can.
Surrendering your body. Being poked, prodded, jabbed. Needles, tubes, tape, stitches you name it it will soon be stuck to and inside your body.
The unknown. Everything is foreign. The instruments, the language, the people.
Trusting someone with your life. You have to trust people you’ve only just met to have your best interests at heart. They now control what happens to your body.
Loss of dignity. Get over it right now. Be prepared to describe in agonizing detail your most personal problems and then take off your clothes and put it all on display.
Despair. The only good reason to go to a hospital is to have a baby. Everyone else is there for something bad.
Aging. It happens to everyone, but it isn’t pleasant.
Loss of hope.
And finally…the biggie…
Death.
People die here.
Daily.
By far hospitals are my greatest fear in life.
You may remember that I had to take a little break for a quick laparoscopy surgery to try to deal with some endometriosis.
It was a day surgery, meaning I should go in at 8 am and leave by around 2 pm.
Back at work in a day!
Have sex again in 3 days!
Wohoo! high five!!!
They were making it sound like a romantic getaway.
Easy peezy right?
That was over a week ago.
I was just released from hospital today. I’m still very weak (among other things) and it will take quite some time for me to heal and recover completely.
None of this 1 day BS. I guess that was another brochure.
The ordeal was so terrifying and unbelievable I need to tell it in stages. So today I’m just introducing you to the idea…
what happens…
when it doesn’t go as planned?
Continued here…It went just fine up until the surgery.
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Bloggy Break
Just giving you a heads up that I will be away from my computer next week.
First on a little fun trip to NYC and then on a little not-so-fun trip to the OR.
For those of you not in the know that last one isn't to Oregon, it's the Operating Room.
Duh duh duuuuh.
I've been trying not to think about the impending doom operation but next week it's here and I can't plug my ears, close my eyes and hum pretending it's not going to happen anymore.
You may remember that I am scared sh**less wary of hospitals, so this is going to probably be the end of me be a big challenge for me.
The operation is to burn off the endometriosis that has attached itself to my internal organs wrecking havoc on my insides.
I know it sounds disgusting and it feels exactly like this
(only worse).
So…hopefully my Dr. manages Ripley the hell out of it
and turns it all into ashes. My dream of becoming an ashtray is finally coming true {sigh}.
I don't know how long my recovery will take but with a little luck and some really good drugs I should come out with both arms and legs still attached be back to my regular snarky self in no time.
See you on the other side!
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